Many of the insurrectionists who stormed the Capitol on January 6 walked away with a stolen souvenir, but they all left behind endless news stories about their arrests. Just this Monday, on May 17, a Denton man became the 23rd North Texan arrested in connection with the riots. In the unwinding, strange saga of the Capitol insurrectionists, here are 10 of the wildest exposures so far.
Robert Chapman from New York was one of the many men who posted on Bumble, of all places, that they were at the Capitol in January. He is also one of the few of those men whom justice has slapped across the face. It all caught up with him in April when he was arrested and charged with trespassing and disorderly conduct after a woman who matched with him on Bumble first reported him in the weeks following the Capitol riots.
Chapman thought he’d gotten lucky on the app after telling the woman he matched with that he did “storm the Capitol” and “made it all the way to Statuary Hall” in screenshots the woman shared with the FBI.
Chapman also posted several posts on Facebook documenting his crimes. The day after the riot, Chapman posted a series of photos with the caption “INSIDE THE CRAPITOL!!!” We're not sure if that misspelling was intentional or not, nor do we have any updates on Chapman's dating life.
Garrett Miller, one of Dallas' own insurrectionists, made it known that, yes indeed, he was at the Capitol in a perfect, full-circle moment when he was arrested while wearing a T-shirt fully confessing to trying to overthrow the government. It’s almost comedic. No wonder he didn’t say a word when he was arrested; his shirt did all the talking for him, and said, loud and clear: "I Was There, Washington, D.C., January 6, 2021."
Miller has yet to be charged, and he denies wrongdoing. He also posted some obviously not guilty tweets and Facebook comments, such as “Assassinate AOC” and “just wanted to incriminate myself a little lol.”
Miller also had tactical gear and ropes in his bag with him at the riot. Should've stuck with a band tee.
Jon Ryan Schaffer
Nothing says “This ain’t my first rodeo” like wearing the same blue hoodie to your marches and riots. That’s just what metal guitarist Jon Schaffer did to mark himself as a standout at the riot as one of the insurrectionists who sprayed bear spray at officers. He proudly wore a baseball cap that read “Oath Keepers, Lifetime Member,” which is a far-right militia group.
Schaffer turned himself in to Indiana police shortly after the riots and faced six charges for his involvement at the Capitol. He spent three weeks in jail and was released in April. Since Schaffer rocked his world with legal troubles, both the singer and bassist of his metal band Iced Earth have left the band.
Riley June Williams
This list wouldn’t be complete without Riley June Williams, who is best known for allegedly stealing Nancy Pelosi’s laptop with the intention of selling it to Russia. It was Williams’ ex who called the FBI after seeing her in a video taking the laptop, and the investigation took from there.
Sucks for Williams, because it was a laptop solely used for presentations with no top-secret information worth a dime. That’s not as bad as being court-ordered to use a flip phone and having your internet access revoked except for viewing your court documents. Just opening a browser could probably bring Williams more charges.
“QAnon Shaman” Jacob Chansley
This guy won. Not anything good, but in terms of the wildest, most ridiculous outfit, he won. Come on, he wore face paint and a horned fur helmet. Jacob Chansley, the self-proclaimed QAnon Shaman, was arrested just three days after the riots. In addition to playing adult dress-up, he was also shown to be a huge man-child when it came to food preferences.
Unlike other jailed inmates, Chansley requested and was granted a special organic diet. Even his mom advocated for his special request for organic meals.
Jenna Ryan’s still tweeting. The North Texas real estate broker who flew aboard a private plane gleefully live-streamed her activities in Washington and took selfies next to broken windows at the Capitol. The Justice Department filed four charges against her, including violent entry and disorderly conduct in a Capitol building. She was arrested by the FBI at home and released the same night. Ryan tried to fundraise for legal defense through PayPal but was banned. Ever since, she's tweeted about her white privilege and blonde hair shielding her from jail time and supported "protestors" at the Capitol.
One way to really stand out from the crowd is to be tall. Really tall. At 6-foot-6, former Olympic swimmer Klete Keller was caught on video towering over other rioters. Thanks to former coaches and teammates, the FBI tracked Keller down. It didn't help, (OK, it helped the FBI but not him) that he wore a Team USA jacket with his face on full display. Even the photo from his driver's license was used to place him with the face seen on videos. It was a fail of Olympic proportions.
Mark and Jalise Middleton
One of the more recent arrests is that of a Cooke County couple. At the Capitol riot, Mark Middleton threw expletive-laden insults at officers as he pushed himself against barricades and even pulled one officer by the hand. Not that it’s a big deal or like it presents any conflicts or anything, but Middleton serves as a GOP precinct chair in Cooke County. He and his wife are both facing charges for multiple offenses at the Capitol and for striking officers.
Middleton's wife, Jalise, also is accused of assaulting a cop from across a barricade. The two were identified from their now-deleted Facebook posts from the riot. Nailing the victim role, Jalise commented in one of her posts, "Me and my husband were on the front lines pushing into the Capitol and got past the fencing but then we got beat by a cop and pepper-sprayed so we had to retreat but you see all our fellow patriots got in."
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