The Dogcatcher

Dr. John Witherspoon was born in Gifford, Scotland, in 1723. A scholarly Presbyterian minister who was elected to the Continental Congress, he is perhaps best known for his hilarious portrayal of Ice Cube’s dad in the Friday movies. Defying all known medical science, Witherspoon lived for more than 250 years,…

Hear That Motor?

One part human kazoo and one part yawning tree frog, an expert Tuvan throat singer can traverse scales and melodies throughout dreamlike hypnotic stretches, sometimes stacking up to four notes at a time. This traditional vocalization style also lends itself to some beautiful and poetic lyrics. Here’s a sampling: “Uuuuuuuuuuunnnnnngh,…

Force Course

This summer’s Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History is going to make your old grade-school trips to the planetarium look like Bantha turds by comparison. Can’t wait till June? This weekend’s sneak peek will allow visitors to hang with R2D2,…

R.I.P., KDGE

The KDGE-102.1 FM EdgeFest, age 16, a once-promising showcase of quasi-independent “alternative,” “modern” and “new” rock acts, died on April 15 at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco, following a courageous battle with cultural relevance. The EdgeFest premiered in 1992 with interesting and inventive bands such as the Sugarcubes and Charlatans…

Some Kind of Hypnotist

Master hypnotist Gary Conrad is the best master hypnotist of all master hypnotists, alive, dead or living dead. Master hypnotist Gary Conrad performs flawless, life-altering feats of suggestion that are unmatched in this or any other known galaxy, universe or alternate dimension. Master hypnotist Gary Conrad was a guest on…

Moose Knuckles

When you’re at the Command Performance of International Ballet try to behave yourself and refrain from using your newfound mind powers to telekinetically inflate a male dancer’s nut bunch in a hilarious balloon-like fashion. What mind powers? The mind powers you got after being doused with errant radioactive sludge from…

MC Router

Backed by blipping beats and cybernetic synth sounds that owe equally to Deltron 3030 and Duck Hunt, Fort Worth’s MC Router dispenses a distinct vocal style not unlike that of a squealing 9600 baud modem. By her own description, the first lady of nerdcore spits “angsty lyrics” and “whiney rants”…

J Dilla

A remastered reissue of an out-of-print underground hip-hop classic, Ruff Draft is the late, great J Dilla at a creative apex. It took him a week to turn the whole thing out, but that was more than enough time to unleash a maelstrom of lo-fi breakbeat jams that paid tribute…

How Would Jesus Roll?

Jesus is risen, bitches! Nothing commemorates the resurrection of our Lord and Savior like pastel-colored wicker baskets lined with plastic grass and filled with marshmallow chicks, chocolate bunnies and jelly beans. Here’s Your Official Easter Playlist. Jam it when you’re coming down from that sugar high in the waiting room…

Legendary

Typecasting always works. Charlotte Rae didn’t just portray Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett, she was Mrs. Garrett. Jim J. Bullock was Monroe on Too Close for Comfort. Mr. T was Clubber Lang. Similarly, he was also B.A. Baracus. Kinda the same dude. What happens when you go against type? John Belushi…

Bad Badasses

You know you’re in for a cinematic tour de force when a film stars rapper, thespian and noted pimping enthusiast Ice-T, the mayor of Batshit Crazy Town Gary Busey, F. Murray Abraham and Rutger Hauer. Equally eclectic is the string of plot keywords listed on the movie’s IMDB profile, including…

Humor Twins Activate

We’re sick and tired of Dennis Miller trying to make us common folk feel all dumb by using them polysyllabic turns of phrase and pulling out obscure references such as Lord Theomopharah’s trusty crossbow during the final throes of the historic Siege at Dalamiphius. And we’re tired and sick of…

They’re So Usual

Spoiler alert! Despite what you’re led to believe in The Usual Suspects, Keyser Söze is not any of the usual suspects. He’s not mumbling, menacing Fenster. He’s not short-fused McManus or wiseass Hockney. He’s not our hero Dean Keaton nor is he the limping, gimpy Verbal. He’s not even interrogating…

Pop’s Kid

“The first hip-hop record I owned was The Message by Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five,” recalls DJ Rob Viktum. “My father bought it for me.” When that record first dropped, back when Viktum was but a wee lad, it was mostly the inner-city kids who were having The Message…

It’s Getting Chili

Oi, these goyim and their indigestion-inducing foods, with the barbecues and the crawfish boils and what have you. Just thinking about that traif gets us all farblondzhet in the boykh. It’s absolute meshugas. Luckily, our khevre over at Tiferet Israel are ladling up some spicy nosh of comparable fiery deliciousness…

Oops!

OK, we know all of you out there in newspaper-reading land (you know, the three of you who prefer the printed word to rapidly blogged scuttlebutt) depend on us to provide the most accurate information as possible. But hey, music writers are 1) lazy and 2) often drunk, so mistakes…

Analog Quality

For their one-year anniversary, the Road Agent folks are serving gallery-goers a revolving, mashed-up smorgasbord featuring work from some of their favorite artists, among them the bold canine portraits of Raychael Stine and James Christopher Case’s intricate ink and charcoal reflections on modern disaster. Road Agent: The Audience Is Listening…

Cage Match

An “All Pet” Expo, huh? As in, an expo for all pets? Well, this could get dangerous. Some people think mountain lions make good pets. We knew plenty of people in college who considered iguanas and marmosets to be acceptable house pets. What happens when the people with pet pythons…

Spacing Out

We could ruminate about Office Space, Mike Judge’s ode to the weary cubicle worker. We could ponder it as biting social commentary, realist absurdism or as simply an enjoyable, above-average 90-minute comedy. Or we could be completely obnoxious and just belch up a bunch of references and lines of dialogue…

Shine Bright

This isn’t some li’l prissy, powder-puff football team; this is your three-time world champion Dallas Diamonds. Still, the “Tryout FAQ” on the team’s Web site reads like Redbook, focusing on the latest diet crazes (“Eat something that will give you energy, but stay down.”) and fashion footwear (leave the heels,…

Step to This

We’re working on a screenplay about two opposing college dance squads (a square-dance team and a step team) who face off in nationwide competition to defend the honor of their fraternities and the wizened coaches who taught them the tradition and techniques of their respective dances. For some reason, both…

Aura Class

Just about anywhere else in the country, aside from maybe Manhattan or Los Angeles, a few days’ worth of breathing and meditation classes for $375 might seem a bit expensive. Not around these parts. Whether it’s extreme, experimental plastic surgery or dippy, hippie, New Age yoga, we don’t mind paying…