If the press announcement describes your upcoming book signing as an opportunity for you to “defend [your] position on issues,” you probably need to hire somebody else to start writing your press announcements. I mean, it sounds like you’re going in there looking for a fight. Like, there’s not enough…

Hey, how are you? Good. I’m fine. Thanks for asking. So what are you doing Saturday night? Going out, huh? Dinner and drinks with friends. Sounds cool. Real cool. But you and I both know you’re lying through your dirty, lying liar teeth. I know and you know that you’re…

Naturists. Nudists. Nakednessists. They go by many names. But despite what they decide to call themselves, one thing is painfully obvious: People who like to be naked outdoors are almost always not the kind of people you would want to see naked, much less be naked with. Just like the…

Just to name a few, there’s Spike Lee’s Original Kings of Comedy (not to be confused with Paul Rodriguez’s Original Latin Kings of Comedy), Jeff Foxworthy’s Blue Collar Comedy, Patton Oswalt’s Comedians of Comedy and, of course, Professor Hendricus Stoof’s wildly popular Dutch Physicists of Comedy. Now there’s finally a…

Celia Rivenbark is kinda like the Highland Park soccer mom equivalent of David Sedaris. And whereas Sedaris has a popular collection of essays suggesting that you Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Rivenbank’s latest assortment of sassy, Southern-fried social commentary instructs readers to Stop Dressing Your Six-year-old Like a…

When Al Gore comes through town later this week, it’s anybody’s guess what he might talk about. I mean, dude was the vice president. He’s got more than a few stories to tell, you’d think. Perhaps he’ll talk about the glorious economic prosperity of the Clinton/Gore years or revisit his…

His voice is warm and comforting, like a bowl of homemade oatmeal on a winter’s morn. His words are as sweet as rhubarb pie, and his face is a doughy mass. Anyway you slice it, Garrison Keillor is delicious. He’s like the Barry White of the Midwest. But instead of…

Technology may have made it easier to access new music, but it’s also taken a lot of the fun out of discovering it. Internet music services such as Last.fm and Live365.com provide user-programmed streaming radio with varying degrees of success, as the selections are often limited and of questionable quality…

In the same way that Willie Nelson is able to appeal to both rednecks and hippies, prog metal wizards Tool find faithful fans in everyone from Cro-Magnon WWE Smackdown attendees to jazz nerds who read nothing but music theory textbooks and Dungeon Master’s Guides. There’s just something about front man…

The Union and the Confederacy. Rocky Balboa and Clubber Lang. Jay-Z and Nas. He-Man and Skeletor. These legendary beefs are but cordial misunderstandings when compared to the fierce rivalry between our Dallas Cowboys and the Redskins of Washington, D.C. The bad blood between the two teams actually predates the Cowboys…

We’ll go ahead and tell you what Women and Horses is all about to spare you from stumbling upon the descriptions of something else altogether were you to Google the play’s title. Sheilah is a rough, tough, bronco-riding badass. With the help of her leathery, weathered guardian Flo and the…

Dinner theater murder mysteries are perfect for those of us who think that theatrical stage works are severely lacking in delicious appetizers and mock audience fatalities. Powerful dramatic scenes dripping with human pathos are all well and good. But throw in a cheese tray and have the dude two rows…

Who would have thought that the few drops of precipitation we’d see this summer would be enough to rain out Addison’s Fourth of July fireworks festivities? Well, it was and it did. But this isn’t some lame collection of sparklers and flaming pinwheels. The Town of Addison’s Kaboom Town is…

Tom Bosley is inarguably best remembered as perennial TV dad Howard Cunningham from Happy Days. Like most young thespians of his era (forging careers before you could shortcut your way to celebrity by eating the most bugs on a reality show or betrothing a pop music starlet), Bosley cut his…