Salud!: Because Buzz figures anyone who reads us is drunk, this week we take another look at Progress Dallas’ effort to secure a vote to change the dry laws in the city. The group—led by retailers and restaurateurs—wants to allow beer and wine sales in grocery stores and eliminate rules…

All wet: Well, at least we know now who to blame. When the Trinity River finally tops its weakened levees and inundates large swaths of the city, all you drowning folk should raise your fists to the sky and loose an imprecation at the person who sealed your fate. “Curse…

Here we go again: So, this is what the inside of a handbasket looks like. Kind of cozy, actually. Too bad it’s hauling us all off to eternal hellfire and damnation. The good news is that at least we might be able to have cold, conveniently purchased beer while we…

Don’t let the doorknob…: Oh, such warm, moist sighs of sadness swept the city last week over the end of state Representative Terri Hodge’s political life. What a shame. What a tragedy. What a load of crap. Quick show of hands, readers. Before she pleaded guilty to federal tax fraud…

Here’s a quick Monday-morning discussion question for you Friends of Unfair Park: Have you stopped or cut back on taking the Dallas North Tollway in these lean times? My monthly bill recently hit $120, so it’s Stemmons Freeway — go, Speed Racer! — for me until some bills are paid…

Tolls for thee: Buzz is broke. All Buzz’s friends—both of them—are broke. The feds are broke. The state is broke. All God’s children are broke. So who’s going to pay for all the new roads a growing Dallas County needs? Well, you will, assuming you’re not too broke to drive…

Trend surfing: You might as well start practicing right now, so you can get used to it. Say these words: Governor Rick Perry, four more years. Why is Buzz predicting the return of Mr. Hot Hair to office? Well, he’s leading the polls in his primary race and, so far,…

Buzz kill: Oh, no, no, no. This can’t be correct. Could it really be that the young Earthers, the intelligent designers and assorted Christian right-wing whackjobs who have made the Texas State Board of Education such a reliable source of amusement could be facing…extinction? Speaking as someone who neither has…

Clearing the smoke: Every two weeks or so, we wander into our publisher’s office and flip through copies of our company’s sister papers in Denver and California, where medical marijuana is legal. “Wow, they must be raking in the ad dough,” we say, looking at the advertisements for medical pot…

All’s fair: Well now, that hardly seems fair. Those wily Dallas County Republicans are out soliciting campaign contributions, and they’re landing some really low blows to do it. They’re accusing county Democrats of behaving like, gasp!, Democrats—that is, being blindly loyal to their own party members whenever they’re not busy…

Is it safe to come out yet? Is this horrifying, recessionary, alien-anal-probe of a year finally—finally!—over? Whew! It is! We made it through the last year of a less-than-auspicious decade. Let’s all get some “I Survived ’09” T-shirts and have a party. Maybe while we’re all together, we can make…

Brand control: Self-restraint has never been high on Buzz’s list of virtues, as anyone who has ever seen our nicotine-stained fingers and fat gut can attest. Still, we appreciate virtue in others when we (very rarely) see it, so we kind of admire Eric Johnson, the lawyer running in the…

Burn, baby: Well, that’s distressing. Here Buzz is, due to dispense our bit of weekly wisdom/news/crapola, but we just can’t get into it. Really, what’s the point? See, we just got off the phone with a reader, who was upset with our column last week suggesting that the city should…

Pay to stay: If Emma Lazarus were alive and living in Dallas these days, she’d probably throw up. Lazarus—for those of you who were sleeping in civics class—is the author of “The New Colossus,” the poem that adorns the Statue of Liberty. Why would she be a nauseated Dallasite? Well,…

Well-mannered: Well, that was awkward—one of those embarrassing breach-of-etiquette moments, like when some guy on the bus asks to borrow your comb. You want to be generous, do the polite thing, etc. but geez… In our case, the uncomfortable moment involved U.S. District Judge Barbara Lynn, who presided over the…

True confessions: Many of us carry some secret shame, a memory of youthful indiscretion that we’d rather no one else know. Maybe you shoplifted or felt up a cousin at a family reunion. Hey, it’s cool. We understand. Even Buzz has an ugly secret, but since we have no shame,…