Pop Quiz

It’s that time of year, kids. Easter has come and gone, Spring Break is but a mere memory, and now thoughts turn to tornados, bluebonnets and academic crunch time. To get you warmed up for final exams we offer you our Spring Pop Quiz, intended to sharpen your mental skills…

Same Difference

Paper Chase and Explosions in the Sky are two peas in an experimental pod. At least, that’s what it looked like at Monday night’s twin bill at the Granada Theater. In many ways, these two groups couldn’t be more different, but in others they mirror each other almost perfectly, though…

Super Duper

That buzzing sound you hear is not a giant swarm of meth-addict bees, nor is it the leftover ear-fuzz from that last Hogpig gig. Nope, that’s the sound of dozens of motorbikes grinding their way through the dirt field in Texas Stadium, home of the Dallas stop of the American…

Downright Filthy

At midnight Friday, the revolution begins. Well, at least the documentary of a revolution. Well, at least the documentary chronicling what could have been a revolution, had ego, drugs, booze and generally self-destructive behavior not brought the rebels down from the inside. The revolution in question is the British punk…

Panic Attack

Let’s take care of a little business. In light of the recent Grand Widespread Panic Controversy, the powers that be here at the Dallas Observer headquarters feel we should make peace with the jam band’s fans and any other affiliated person we might have offended. In case you don’t know,…

Hogpig CD release party

There’s a reason why radio stations still play classic rock, why Led Zep riffs still send fists pumping through the air, why a chunky 4/4 bass drum beat still resonates through the chest like no other: The shit is good. Sure, you make fun of mullet meatheads and music from…

Old Men and Bag Ladies

There is a woman on a makeshift, multicolored stage in a large backyard full of slightly scuzzy people. Scuzzy in the sense that they probably only take showers every other day, versus every day. Not hippie scuzzy, just sort of… San Francisco scuzzy. Not that anyone is paying attention to…

Get You Some Sugar

Liberty, Gage, Churchill, Hardy—these are the names of which romance novels are made. But with Lisa Kleypas’ latest, Sugar Daddy, the reliance on All My Children-worthy handles might be the only similarity to traditional motifs of the genre. Oh sure, Sugar Daddy has the naughty bits and the good-girl-gettin’-some themes,…

Nice Rear

There’s P.O.V., and then there’s P.O.V., and when it comes to a discussion about the best use of P.O.V. by a director, nine outta 10 times, Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window will win the prize hands down. We all know the story: Jimmy Stewart plays a man immobilized by a broken…

The Toadies

What—did you think we were just gonna ignore the Observer’s never-ending quest to keep the Toadies together, forever, please for the love of god? Damn, you’d think the Toadies were our Mommy and Daddy, and that we’d just die if they stayed apart, and we’d have to go to some…

Fort by Fort Worth

South by Southwest is like sex or pizza—even when it’s bad, it’s good, but it often leaves an unseemly taste in your mouth. I’ve written about it before, so let’s not overwork it, but here’s a brief synopsis of the thesis shared by the cynical/grumpy/over-it types (that would be, uh,…

Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Me: Do you hate doing this? Sandra Bernhard: No, not at all, of course not. If I don’t do this people don’t know I’m coming, and it becomes counterproductive to my work. I’m a quarter of the way through an awkward phone interview with Bernhard, a woman whose persona is…

Juke in a Box

American Idol, it seems, has opened its mammoth, dried-saliva-encrusted jaws and finally swallowed the last bit of our national culture that had heretofore escaped its cruel mastications. The theatah, people, is sliding down the gullet, Jabba the Hutt-style, of the gorging, TiVo-ed beast. Hmm…perhaps that’s overstating it; but there’s no…

Pop Quiz

We here at the Dallas Observer think you’ve all been slacking. Sure, it’s easy to be a music fan when all that entails is dropping a few PBRs at the Double Wide, but what happens when it’s time to put your pickled cerebellum to the test? What follows is our…

Superparty

Members of the Fantastic Four have special powers, like the ability to turn invisible. My special power involves an uncanny ability to drunkenly slip and fall as I’m trying to hit on hot girls. Thursday’s Vogue and Cointreau party at Ghostbar, 2440 Victory Park Lane, Suite 3300—hosted by Chris Evens,…

Big Gay John

As you probably know by now, John Amaechi is the first NBA player to ever divulge his gayness (I think the word “homosexuality” sounds so…Falwell) and Man in the Middle, his new book, is the story of his life in the closet of an NBA locker room. Reading it you…

It’s All in the Music

We all know the funky old saying, popularized by P-funk, “Free your mind, and your ass will follow.” It’s a deceptively simple slogan, on the surface just a clever introduction to the best way to learn how to dance, but really it’s a summation of philosophy, of the connection between…

Dear Xtina

Girl, I am soooo proud of you! Remember back in the day, when everyone was dissin’ you, saying you were never gonna last, and how Britney had so much more substance? Well look at that backwoods bitch now! Madonna so totally made the wrong choice. I mean, look how you’ve…

Silver Superstars

How can we mention the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders without mentioning the classic 1979 made-for-TV classic called, uh, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders? Starring Bert Convy(!), Jane Seymour(!!) and Bucky “Red Sox Killer” Dent (!!!), the show had it all: giggling, booby-jiggling ladies clad in those iconic blue and white bra-and-panties sets–oops, I…

Charity Cases

Charity alert: Apparently, late winter and early spring is the season for altruistic music events. Take the just-announced Girl Parts show at Sue Ellen’s to be held Friday, March 16. The Girl Parts is three ladies (Liz Clark, Julie Loyd and Melineh Kurdian) who hee-haw and yee-haw their way through…

SXSW, WTF?

As reported on many blogs across the DFW musical world, the list of local bands accepted as official artists for this year’s South by Southwest festival came out recently. It was critically panned by bloggers, hipsters and everyone in between, and I gotta say, I’m right there with ’em. That’s…

Bits and Pieces

Hope springs eternal: Yes, the Gypsy Tea Room is closing. No, things don’t look good for Deep Ellum; one problem is most of the poor souls who run clubs—or who have tried to run clubs, or who have tried to open clubs, or who have tried to re-open clubs—don’t own…