Sports & Recreation

Has any owner ever enjoyed a championship more? Considering the decade, cash and passion invested into his Mavericks, he deserved it. After Dallas’ first pro basketball title, Mark Cuban took the Larry O’Brien trophy to the urinal, took a cheap shot at sorta partner/definitely enemy Ross Perot Jr. and got the last laugh on his critics. Whether it’s keeping the faith in Dirk Nowitzki, sticking with Jason Kidd or shelling out the big bucks to sign Tyson Chandler, Cuban is nothing if not determined to put himself and his team in the best position to win. As if that’s not enough, every week he jumps into ABC’s Shark Tank. Impressive.

Call it the “clang of death” or “the shank from hell.” At Top Golf, it’s when one hears the evil sound of the ball’s rock-solid plastic hitting the metal of the driving range roof. In that second, your life flashes before your eyes, as the culprit (usually a female) stands awkwardly with a club and giggles, “Sorry!” It’s not that girls CAN’T play golf: Many do, and quite well. It’s just that those girls are at a real driving range and not at Top Golf — the self-proclaimed premier golf entertainment complex, with the focus being on the word “entertainment.” The Putt-Putt for adults/driving range hybrid attracts group play dates more than it does the serious golfer. Throw in alcohol, and it’s bound to get interesting if not a little risky. If you survive a shanking accident, you can always laugh it off. Better yet, hopefully the next try is a whiff. It’s far funnier and way less frightening.

It’s a little tricky to find. If you’re going south on Interstate 35E, take Illinois Avenue west about two miles to Pierce and hang a left (south) less than half a mile past the houses. Turn toward a parking lot at the back of an apartment complex and you’ll see the trailhead and some parking to your right before you get to the gate to the apartments. If you yearn for a really well-designed biking trail, it probably doesn’t get better than this inside the city. The Oak Cliff Nature Preserve is 121 acres on an old Boy Scout camp. The Texas Land Conservancy has partnered with the Dallas Off-Road Bicycle Association to create a series of clearly marked, well-maintained bike trails at all levels of challenge, from beginner to semi-nutcase. And if you haven’t seen this part of Dallas before, you’re going to be knocked out by the topography … maybe literally.

We know he inexplicably wanted to pitch in Philadelphia, and we recognize that the Rangers’ starting rotation has been dominant for most of the season. Still, he is Cliff Friggin’ Lee. And when he drove in more runs as a hitter in June than he allowed as a pitcher, we can’t help but be jealous. Lee wasn’t perfect in Texas, but he did win Games 1 and 5 against Tampa Bay in the Rangers’ first ever playoff series triumph and then he shut out and humiliated the Yankees with 13 strikeouts in a crucial Game 3 of the ALCS. Here’s hoping the Rangers again get to the World Series but don’t have to face the Phillies and their former ace.

Just as Jason Garrett changed the culture of the Cowboys in 2010, Tyson Chandler transformed the Mavericks’ defense. After a decade in which the team tried to out-offense opponents as its only path to victory, the Mavericks suddenly won games 91-89 instead of 121-119. In the middle of the identity switch was the Mavericks’ defensive anchor, a free-agent center who blocked shots, took charges and barked instructions to teammates en route to earning third place in the NBA’s Defensive Player of the Year voting. Dirk was Dirk and Jason Kidd was almost better than ever, but the Mavs don’t win a championship without Chandler in the middle.

Seems a safe bet that this is one of the most competitive categories in this whole damn book. In this corner, you have Eric Nadel, iconic voice of the Texas Rangers for more than 30 years. In this corner, you have Ralph Strangis and Darryl Reaugh, the only hockey announcers North Texas has ever known. Yet standing in the middle, stiff-arming the competition, stands Brad Sham, Dallas’ version of Vin Scully. Yes, he roots for the Cowboys. But he does it eloquently, almost subtly, somehow without being a homer. And he’s by no means a shill for Jerry Jones, evidenced by his memorable, disgusted calls of a drop by Roy Williams and a missed block leading to Tony Romo’s injury by rookie fullback Chris Gronkowski. Quipped Sham before a win over the Texans last year, “If the Cowboys can keep from slipping in their own drool they’ll be OK.” Touche.

It pales in comparison to Jerry Jones’ $1 billion stadium in Arlington, but for a mere $190 you can hack it around one of Texas’ premier tracks. If you don’t mind the constant stream of thunderous airplanes that use Cowboys’ 18th fairway to line up with a runway, you can almost convince yourself you’ve left the city. Dramatic elevation changes. Unique views. And, far as we can tell, not a blade of grass out of place. Even the putting green — shaped like a star, of course — is immaculate. Inside the clubhouse are replica Super Bowl trophies. Outside, you might just run into Cowboys such as Tony Romo. For your exorbitant fee, you get range balls, golf and all the food and non-alcoholic drinks you can inhale. Sample the jalapeño sausage near the 14th tee. You won’t be sorry. Until the next day.

Atractosteus spatula, the alligator gar (which actually has a head like a spatula), is the largest exclusively freshwater fish species in North America, and we have tons of these strange prehistoric-looking monsters of the shallows right here in the city. A slow float down the Trinity River through the Great Trinity Forest can turn up lots of these dinosaur-looking deals cruising with their broad backs just above the surface. They can grow to 10 feet and 300 pounds, so watch out when they slap water next to your canoe. The state will let you take one of them per day without a size limit, but you know what? Just looking at them and leaving them alone can be even more satisfying.

Other than naked on a water bed with Kate Upton, the best place to watch a baseball game has to be Frisco. More specifically, at a RoughRiders game. For a whopping $9. In the swimming pool. Doubt you can watch quality baseball while sipping a beer in a floatie and you’re probably still in denial over the fact we have alligator gar in our lakes and orange-barrel construction zones all over our highways. Ring a bell? If you’re tired of IKEA, Highway 121’s traffic or the world’s largest population of SUVs and DDs, slip into your Speedo, munch on a hot dog and take in some Double-A baseball from the Dr Pepper Ballpark’s right-field cool pool. And when you get water wrinkled, take a tour of the ballpark’s bathrooms, the only stadium restrooms in America designed by an interior decorator. Swear.

Channel 8’s Dale Hansen may have pushed our policy on term limits had his banter with weatherman Pete Delkus not deteriorated from witty to warped. Mike Doocy has the advantage of batting first in the sports wrap-up show game each Sunday night, and more often than not he takes advantage with a solid, often spectacular Sports Sunday on Fox 4. His highlights are comprehensive. His graphics are by far the best on local television. He provides one-on-one interviews. And his popular “Open Mike” segment gives a voice to everyone from Steve Busby to Tony Casillas to RJ Choppy. Furthermore, we know Hansen is secretly jealous of Doocy’s perfectly coiffed hair. Actually, that’s not a secret.

The older they grow, the better they age. While their few critics call it monotonous redundancy, their legion of P1 fans are convinced it’s classic tradition. On the air together since 1994, the most consistently entertaining and highest-rated show on sports talk radio belongs to George Dunham, Craig Miller and Gordon Keith, weekdays 5:30-10 a.m. on The Ticket. It’s about sports. It’s about life. It’s about guys being guys. It’s — most important — about domination. Dunham & Miller are at this point basically lapping the field in Arbitron ratings. Every hour their show attracts twice the ratings as the offerings of ESPN-103.3 FM and KRLD-105.3 FM The Fan. Combined. Over the years they’ve developed the perfect recipe for morning radio with tasty pinches of interviews, topical headlines via “Muse in the News” and heady, though sometimes homerish takes across our sports smorgasbord.

In light of Ron Washington guiding the Rangers to their first World Series, this wasn’t a no-brainer. But Rick Carlisle pushed all the right buttons in leading the Mavericks to their first NBA championship. After he shaved his head to honor his dad, Preston, and then it kinda didn’t grow back, he looked like a scary Jim Carrey. But whether it was inserting DeShawn Stevenson into the lineup, believing in J.J. Barea or knowing when to throw a zone defense or even Ian Mahinmi at the Miami Heat, Carlisle was as valuable to Dallas’ title run as anyone this side of the giant German. And to think, he was this close to being fired had the Mavs lost in the first round to Portland.

Just when we were wrapping our hearts and minds around Dallas-bred soccer idol Kenny Cooper, he up and went overseas to play real fútbol. Like my grandma used to say, “Nothing wrong with leftovers.” And so it is with Colombia-born midfielder David Ferreira. In just his second season playing up at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco, Ferreira earned Major League Soccer’s MVP and led the surprising team to the MLS Cup. With him out of their lineup because of a broken ankle, FC Dallas was merely an average side early in 2011. Professional soccer still isn’t popular out in the ‘burbs, but with Ferreira, FC Dallas has a chance to again do something that transcends sports and cities — win.

In a lackluster, playoff-less season in which Mike Modano and Marty Turco left, it was the spunky left-winger who arrived. Despite playing in Brad Richards’ shadow, Eriksson was Dallas’ second-leading scorer with 73 points on 27 goals (including six game-winners) and 46 assists and produced a team-high plus/minus of plus-10. The losing season cost head coach Marc Crawford his job and prompted Richards to leave via free agency, but at least the Stars have young players like Eriksson and Jamie Benn to liven up the future. Oh, who are we kidding? Hockey has never been worse or less relevant in this town.

Tons of indelible memories from the Mavs’ playoff run. The big comeback in Oklahoma City. The bigger comeback in Game 2 of the finals in Miami. The sweep of the hated Lakers. But never has American Airlines Center been rowdier, louder or prouder than Game 5 of the finals. With the series tied at 2-2 the Mavs clawed out of a nine-point, fourth-quarter hole, capped by a dramatic long 3-pointer by Jason Terry right in LeBron James’ mug in the final minute. James responded with a quizzical shrug, while Terry sprinted down court with his trademark wings out for a runway takeoff. The joint went bonkers, and fans left knowing that after 31 years their Mavs were only 48 minutes from a championship. Cue the chill bumps.

Whether running routes for old friend Tony Romo or backup quarterback Jon Kitna, the best tight end in the history of the Cowboys does nothing except produce consistent results. He’s the $28 million man with the 28-cent ego. With his team in turmoil via Romo’s injury and the midseason firing of Wade Phillips, Witten kept on keeping on. With a subtle agility and pillowy mitts for hands, Witten caught 94 passes for 1,000 yards and nine touchdowns and did it all with nary a chest bump or “look at me” celebration. The Cowboys were a disappointing 6-10 in 2010, but Witten, as usual, exceeded expectations.

Despite an often maddening kamikaze style that keeps him hovering around the disabled list and his preposterous claim, er, excuse that he struggles in day games because of his blue eyes — Cal Ripken Jr., anyone? — there is no doubt that the reigning AL MVP is the most talented and mesmerizing baseball player in town. When Hamilton was gone for five weeks with a broken shoulder, the Rangers were the model of mediocrity. With him in the lineup saving runs with his arm and generating them with his bat, Texas again looks like a team capable of going to the World Series.

Any questions? Didn’t think so. Because after a season in which the soft guy proved tough enough and the German who couldn’t lead in fact led, the best player in franchise history kicked his critics in their skeptical crotches with a memorable season in which he won a championship, NBA Finals MVP, a couple of ESPYs and — oh yeah — another relatively useless Observer award. Dwyane Wade and LeBron James tried to make fun of Dirk’s feverish cough in the finals, but after an onslaught of lefty layups and flamingo fadeaways the player for years deemed not quite good enough is finally the best.

There’s a museum in the back, behind glass — quite the collection of old cards, catcher’s masks and Civil War-era bats. And then there are the rows and rows and rows of cards, sleeved and stacked for cardboard-box browsing and shopping. And shop you will: Here, history’s affordable, sometimes as low as 50 cents per bubble-gum memory. We shop here regularly, three generations of card collectors: the grandfather who worshiped men named Koufax and Mays; the son whose idols were Harvey Martin and Jim Sundberg; the youngest one for whom any guy in a uniform on a card is considered a hero. Each of us never fails to find something during each trip. Bonus: Nick’s is kind of like a sports-lottery ticket-seller too, peddling unwrapped packs for a few bucks each, some of which contain rare autographs, pieces of uniforms or other invaluable keepsakes. Buy the ticket; only thing missing is the sunburn.

The impetus behind the raucous run by Dirk Nowitzki and the Dallas Mavericks last spring? Um, turns out there was a girl in the boys’ room. But not that kind. This kind: Throughout the playoffs Dr. Mary Collings laid her healing hands upon Dirk’s aching back in a crack-ya-bones sorta chiropractic way. But Collings, a ’93 graduate of Dallas’ Parker College and founder of Las Colinas Spine & Sports Medicine and a second office in Highland Park, didn’t just work her magic on Dirk. Last year alone she treated the Stars, Cowboys punter Mat McBriar, ESPN’s Darren Woodson, PGA player Brandt Jobe, actor Chuck Norris, singer Alanis Morissette and even the Highland Park High School “Belles” drill team. During the Mavs’ playoff push and into the NBA Finals, Nowitzki and guard J.J. Barea were weekly visitors to Collings’ office.

If you’re an aspiring boxer hell-bent on blood, sweat and tears, get your ass down to old-school Doug’s Gym on Commerce Street. For the rest of us — ahhhh — to the paradise with the palm trees. The Lifetime Fitness on Highway 121 in McKinney is like a five-star resort, complete with more than enough amenities to serve us peculiar, pampered types who want the contradictory experience of working out in total comfort. Ya know, no pain; no pain. There are indoor and outdoor pools; a café with full-service bar; a spa resplendent in cosmetic services; courts for basketball, racquetball and squash; locker rooms with free towels and big-screen televisions; a computer center; financial services; even a rock-climbing wall and water slides for the kids. Oh yeah, and they got some weights up in there, too. All that for like $100 a month. So we ask you, why not just live here?