You’re a Rich Man, Harold Simmons

Have you met our adoptive parents, Annette and Harold Simmons? They’re very nice people. Mazel tov, Harold Simmons! Looks like you’re still the richest man in Dallas — and the 43rd richest person in the entire country. Yet again, Forbes has posted its list of the 400 wealthiest folks in…

You Betcha: Week 3

Jack Hamm/Grace Bible Fellowship Need we remind you of what Tom Landry thought of gambling? Thought so. I know what you’re thinking: Hey, douchebag, what happened to Week 2? To which I retort, “What happens in Vegas haunts you all the way back to Dallas.” Find a comfy chair and…

Taking the Chantix Story National

WFAA-Channel 8’s Janet St. James Thanks to the several Friends of Unfair Park, including Uncle Barky, who’ve pointed out that on Wednesday, WFAA-Channel 8 medical reporter Janet St. James’s story about Carter Albrecht and the smoking-cessation drug Chantix, which features an interview with Albrecht’s girlfriend Ryann Rathbone, received prominent play…

We Could Be Heroes. Or Not.

Comic Book Resources offers two very odd green-screen preview pics from this week’s Sunday Night Football intro, in which Terrell Owens and Heroes’ Masi Oka vie for the title of — here it comes — most heroic. Guess it couldn’t be any worse than this. –Robert Wilonsky…

Hunt-ing Season

Ray Hunt and the missus, who kinda know George and Laura Bush just a little, dig? Yesterday on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives, Dennis Kucinich demanded to know precisely how Dallas-based Hunt Oil Company got that deal to drill for oil in Iraq, which it signed a…

And Now for a Whole Different Kind of American Gladiator Tryout

Forget Vegas. If you need fast cash and are jonesing for a vacation, look no further than your nearest Army recruiting location. In late July the U.S. Army instituted the new “Quick-Ship” enlistment bonus for recruits who report for training before September 30th. You’d best hurry — only 10 days…

A Totally Pointless Poll

Shinsei’s Casey Thompson, like you didn’t already know Gawker’s running a poll at the moment, as it wonders who its readers think will be the next Top Chef. And though there are four cheftestants left, Gawker’s editors only give you two chefs from which to choose: Dallas’ Casey Thompson (“Little…

Wherein I Pimp My Friends

You may have gotten them into Esquire, Zac Crain, but Mandy and Lauren of Girls Gone Sports were mine first! Folks, if you’re not already reading the best sports blog in town, now’s the time to get on it: GGS is written by two of my fellow Mansfield High School…

Stop the Presses! They’re Too Cheap!

A Friend of Unfair Park sends us a fascinating story involving a Seattle-based law firm specializing in international affairs, a Japanese-based maker of printing presses, The Dallas Morning News, the illegal sale of printing presses, and a $19-million dollar settlement last month in a malpractice suit. Fascinated? I am –…

Racin’ to the Big Stage with Dale and Eddie

Now Dale Jr. is a PepsiCo man. We still prefer Dr Pepper. For those so inclined, a full transcript of Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s press conference yesterday at the Dallas Convention Center — where, as predicted, he became a PepsiCo pitchman — is available here. How long did this thing last,…

Re-Pete After Me

Pete Sampras is bringing his bag of yellow balls to Frisco this weekend. You could trek to Arlington this weekend to pay your last respects to a suck-ass baseball outfit that last night lost its 82nd game of 2007 and clinched its seventh losing season in the last eight years…

Austin Fights Back, Sending Famous Furniture Store to LFT

Few months back we mentioned how Austin wasn’t terribly happy with how Dallas had taken over its 2nd Street District. All of the sudden it seemed like downtown Austin was looking like Uptown Dallas — Cru, Taverna, Cantina Laredo, III Forks, Paciugo Gelato, Which Wich, etc. But at least one…

Casey Thompson is Through the Bullshit

Casey Thompson is one step closer to being named Top Chef’s Top Chef. Feels like this season of Top Chef has been running for years — who are half the people in the opening credits, anyway? At least we’re down to the Final Four: Hung, Dale, Brian and — wouldya…

Missed Manners

I have never been the world’s biggest fan of children, even when I was one. In junior high, I cringed every time a kid addressed a teacher as “Hey, miss!” And when I completed my first and only baby-sitting job, I was exhausted from chasing a naked 6-year-old boy around…

Lock in Romo|Road to Ruin|Blue Skies Forever

Lock in Romo Pay the man: Wow—what a stat you pulled out of your magic hat today, Richie—after his first 11 regular-season starts, Tony has more yards than Troy and Roger…combined (“Romo Arigato,” by Richie Whitt, September 13). Absolutely unbelievable! Now I’m really excited about this season! And wouldn’t it…

Dream a Little Dream

Dream a little dream: Buzz just needs to stay away from some people. Grown-ups, mostly—guys like Michael Faenza, president and chief executive of the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance, who is working hard on behalf of the city’s neediest people to make Dallas a better place. You spend a little time…

Big Build-Up

Not long ago, Sequina Moore hated showing apartments at the Pleasant Village apartment complex. The place was in bad shape. Drugs were dealt in plain sight, right in front of the management office where she worked. And usually, when she showed a new apartment, she had to step over people…

Teenage and Transgendered

Jacoby James’ palms were sweating. It was almost his turn. As a camera flash illuminated the curtains in front of him, he waited to have his senior picture taken at the Academy of Irving. The photographer’s assistant beckoned. Wishing he weren’t so nervous, James stepped forward. The woman directed him…

No One Wants Eddie LeBaron’s Balls

Someone call Norm Hitzges, pronto. A seller in Woodlake, California, is trying to unload a bunch of 1960 Dallas Cowboys artifacts — including autographed footballs and programs, including one from a pre-season game against the Los Angeles Rams in Oregon. The lot’s full of fascinating keepsakes — if you’re craving,…

How to Forget That Sooner Spanking on October 6, Just Saying

Maybe this is just the shot in the arm — or kick in the prog-metal balls — Deep Ellum needs: On October 6, Fair to Midland’s scheduled to perform at the Crowdus Street Music Festival, otherwise known as the Texas-OU after-party. Guess it’s not new news necessarily; FtM’s appearance has…