The judge takes his seat behind the bench, wearing shirtsleeves, a striped tie and a bucketful of country-boy charm. “How y’all doing today?” “Fine…OK…good…,” respond the two dozen or so recovering addicts who remain seated in the gallery. “I could be doing better,” he tells them. “I just got back…
QB&A After leaving SMU, Kelan Luker is Submursed in rock and roll Usually, it works the other way around: Most athletes wait until they’ve made their millions in the pros before they indulge their adolescent rock-star fantasies. Journeyman pitchers such as Jack McDowell (Stickfigure) and Scott Radinsky (Pulley) have tried…
Prior restraint are words used to describe the actions of a judge or some other government official who tries to tell the press that it’s forbidden to print or broadcast something. They’re also fightin’ words for people in the news biz in America, where we are pretty much free to…
Cat Scratch FeverAny press is good press: I would like to thank Zac Crain for the five kittens he gave The Filthy Skanks in his column the other week (Full Frontal, August 8). We haven’t gotten that much pussy in quite some time. Johnny T The Filthy Skanks Irving Good…
To avoid any unnecessary angry letters that even vaguely anti-hunting comments tend to stir up in this state, allow us to say this up front: Buzz doesn’t hunt. We find it distasteful. Whoa there, big fella, put down that pen. We said distasteful–as in not our cup of tea–not immoral…
Maria Gonzalez shakes her fully clothed thing to thumping booty music on the giant dance floor. Next to the girls in skimpy bras and even skimpier panties, she looks like a lost canary at an exotic cat show. When the music stops, she gets in line with the other four…
It has become a tragic summer litany. Elizabeth Smart is kidnapped from her Salt Lake City home at gunpoint. In Stanton, California, a stranger asking help in finding his lost puppy takes Samantha Runnion. In St. Louis, 6-year-old Cassandra Williamson is last seen riding off on the shoulders of a…
Now Hear This Once again, it’s time for the next great thing in Internet music Since the major record labels can’t figure out how to distribute music online–it’s hard to see the future with your head stuck up your bum–a pair of local boys have done it for them. Due…
Expunge Him Culinary assassins: Apparently Mark Stuertz never listened to his mother’s admonishment to “don’t say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say.” Like his predecessor Mary Brown Malouf, apparently the Dallas Observer prefers to hire verbose assassins rather than skilled journalists who are knowledgeable food critics. Your…
The arrival of the West Nile virus in Dallas has proceeded with all the panicked fanfare that typically comes with public health scares: News reports announce the “deadly” virus’ arrival; residents begin to worry, and city officials respond, in this case, by spraying neighborhoods with pesticides in an attempt to…
Yvonne went skiing the day KKMR-FM (93.3), better known as Merge, went off the air. It was January 3, and the radio station had given away ski trips to a few lucky listeners–among the few listeners Merge had–and Yvonne, the host of the station’s morning show, Early Merge, was to…
Henry Miller would be dumbstruck. The New York-born author of sexually explicit novels often castigated Americans for their chronic paralysis of taste and crude cuisine. “Americans will eat garbage,” he once wrote, “provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper or any other condiment…
Maybe it’s no coincidence that Central Market’s serpentine maze empties into a delta of counters stocked with chef-prepared food, sandwiches and Paciugo Gelato ice cream. After all, this is the realm where margins are fattened. But will it fatten consumers, too? This Mecca of convenience dining is called Café on…
Don’t you just hate it when columnists get lazy or run short on ideas and resort to answering their mail in print? You do? Well, turn the page, bub, ’cause this week, Buzz gots a letter. Joan Covici of Dallas didn’t appreciate our item last week where we purported to…
Heart of GoldForgotten inmates: “The Ex-Con Game” (August 1) is right on target. I’ve known and worked with Ned Rollo at various conferences. His rough exterior belies the softness of his heart. Tell Ned to keep his chin up and continue his great work for those forgotten inmates. Dr. H…
Sack of Kittens This week in Sack of Kittens: The Filthy Skanks. Looks like? GWAR with absolutely no production values. Meaning: Instead of, say, an enormous erupting penis, you get a dude in an old Skeletor and/or He-Man Halloween costume held together with duct tape and whatever else he could…
So Mayor Laura Miller, The Dallas Morning News reports, was vacationing in La Jolla, California, last week, just blocks from Tom Hicks’ “summer retreat” offices. Miller wanted to take the opportunity to discuss renegotiating the no-compete clause that the city’s Reunion Arena has with Hicks’ and Mark Cuban’s Center Operating…
He grew anxious as he approached a customs official at the Ottawa airport, declaring that he had lost his fanny pack, which contained his drivers license and all his cash. It didn’t help that he had this thing about authority figures, a holdover from his time in prison that made…
Dallas’ daily has been singing an odd refrain lately. Dallas Morning News writers have been insisting that the city shouldn’t worry its little head about a retrial of Al Lipscomb now that an appeals court has overturned the former city council member’s federal bribery and conspiracy conviction on technical grounds…
Not So Hot Pitiful thing: Thank you, thank you, thank you for having the guts to expose Some Like It Hot for what it is–a disgusting attempt by Dallas Summer Musicals to fill seats and get some cash (“Some Like It Not,” July 25). This production was the most pitiful…
Through no fault of our own, it seems that Buzz has become one of the countless hated e-mail spammers clogging the Internet. This would be a cause for shame for our dear old mother, but let’s be honest: Maternal pride hasn’t exactly been swelling her bosom since we chose newspapering…
The last thing Arthur Eisenberg wants is people to think he is a neighborhood antagonist. After all, he has lived in the “M Streets East” for 25 years, having raised his family at the corner of McCommas Boulevard and Concho Street. When Eisenberg recently decided he wanted a new house,…
