Oscar Oversight

This shit’s crazier than Martin Scorsese’s eyebrows. I mean, there is a pre-game show, albeit hosted by failed Roy Firestone successor Chris Connelly. No. 1 Lakers fan Jack Nicholson is in the crowd alongside Sports Illustrated cover girl Beyoncé. And hostess Ellen DeGeneres seems to be wearing Michael Irvin’s garish…

Cotton Pickin’ Ign’rnt

As Robert points out a couple clicks down, there’s plenty blame to go around for the Cotton Bowl leaving Dallas, which became official this afternoon. But there shouldn’t be one iota of surprise that it has come to this: The stadium is old, the game is tired, and lethargic city…

Penthouse, Meet Outhouse

We’re not sure what’s worse: getting traded to the 22-win Hawks or having to wear their godawful unis. A toss-up, seems like. One day you’re getting your finger sized for a championship ring; the next, you’re on a plane headed down the standings into the lottery. Anthony Johnson, traded from…

That’s All She Rote

This ain’t no Craigslist (oh, how we wish), but after the jump, a British scribe writing a book about Manchester United has an intriguing request for help. And, amazingly, it concerns my favorite soccer team ever: the Dallas Tornado. (Side note: Former Manchester United goalkeeper, Alex Stepney, played for Dallas…

Miami Twice

Assorted notes, quotes and anecdotes from a Thursday night at American Airlines Center that ended in a Mavs blowout win over the Miami Heat, an effortless season sweep and this sobering thought: How the hell did we lose to that team in The Finals? Playing against a marquee opponent in…

Boo. Who?

Richie doesn’t believe Dwyane Wade’s injury is real, but he does believe Minnie Mouse is a highly undervalued hottie. Ah-ha! Turns out karma is indeed a bitch. And, apparently, part German. Less than 24 hours before Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade was to show his mug in Dallas to face…

German Engineering

Hmm, let’s see. How shall I put this? Delicately? Politically correct? Or, better yet, just say it like it needs to be said: Dwyane Wade, shut the fuck up! Since karma is indeed a basketball junkie, the Miami Heat guard with the misplaced “y” in his name and the misguided…

A Glove Story

Jim Sundberg will always be our fave Rangers catcher. Pudge who? Yeah, you heard us. You’d think with three of baseball’s all-time 50 greatest fielders having passed through Arlington, the Rangers would’ve won something by now. Using that line of thinking, seems Dane Cook would’ve told a funny by now…

Phat Tuesday

Somewhere in this picture, Andre Gurode’s having his face stomped on by Albert Haynesworth. Andre would love for you to ask him about that tonight. I know, let’s give up football for Lent. (Psst, since the NFL draft isn’t until April 28, we won’t miss a thing.) Luckily for us,…

Honoring Our Heroes and Leaders

The greatness of Mel Renfro will be at a McKinney Ave. lunch today highlighting the problems facing pro football’s old-timers. Dead presidents? Hardly. On this most special of days, when we take time to remember and celebrate the men whose talents helped shaped our lives and whose posters help cover…

Canton v. Bristol

So, would you exchange your current job for, let’s say, immortality? Not exactly the deal on Michael Irvin’s table, but according to the New York Post, the recent Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee may be on the way out the ESPN door. According to the article — OK, more…

Son of a Bum

Four minutes. That’s how long it took new Dallas Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips to accomplish what his predecessor couldn’t in four years. Namely, make us all feel comfortable. Relaxed. Like we’re somehow connected, if not on the same team. “Feels good to have these cowboy boots back in Texas,”…

Know What I Mean, Verne?

We gotta say, our fave Verne memories have to do with Bowling for Dollars…and Happy Gilmore. You know how I know you’re gay? Your name’s John Amaechi. You know how I know you’re happy? Your name’s Verne Lundquist. Lundquist, who was Dallas’ and WFAA-Channel 8’s Dale Hansen before Dale Hansen,…

Puck Me

Brett Hull may be the Dallas Stars’ Ambassador of Fun. But, as you well know, I’m the Dallas Stars’ Bearer of Good News and Positivity and Stuff. So, in an effort to placate fans I seemed to have awoken — dare I say, pissed off? — with this little diddy,…

Afterthought All-Star

Josh Howard’s an All-Star, finally. But don’t think he’s thrilled about how he got to Las Vegas. I’ll provide much — and I mean much — more on this in next week’s paper version of Unfair Park, but the NBA just named Dallas Mavericks forward Josh Howard to the All-Star…

Wade Into Change

Wade Phillips, kneeling, with a proud papa named Bum. Speaking of, wonder what Bill Parcells is gonna do now. I have the new Dallas Cowboys head coach’s cell phone number. He knows Terrell Owens’ name. And when he strode into the main meeting room at Valley Ranch for Thursday’s press…

Be Careful What You Ask For

Wade Phillips, aka Parcells Light. Right, Richie Whitt? As both of my loyal readers know, I led the campaign to run Bill Parcells’ old, tired ass out of town. So it is with great, um, pleasure(?) that today I join Dallas Cowboys’ fans in welcoming the new head coach: the…

Washington Monument

I am not in a baseball mood. Last day of January. Super Bowl week. A dreary 32 degrees. Gray skies are spitting snowflakes around Arlington’s Ameriquest Field, coffin to one of Major League Baseball’s longtime cadavers. Cold day, meet hell. Hell, meet… “Beautiful day!” shouts the revival evangelist dressed in…

Beckham Coming to Frisco. Richie, You Can Breathe Now.

Yay. David Beckham should be here July 31. For some kind of tourney. Better than nothing. Richie’s right: David Beckham won’t be in Dallas (or Frisco, whatever) for a regular-season Major League Soccer game. But he is supposed to be in Dallas on July 31 for the inaugural SuperLiga tourney,…

Miss It Like Beckham

Guess who ain’t coming to Dallas. Yeah. This faux-hawked sumbitch. The 2007 Major League Soccer schedule is out, and I’ve got a two-word review: Rip. Off. All the hubbub over David Beckham coming to America, and just guess the only city that won’t see him playing for the Los Angeles…