Anna Kournikova grabbed my balls. Relax. It was for charity. Some aspire to climb Mount Everest, facilitate world peace or concoct a beer-flavored cure for the common cold. Me? I just want to hit on the hottest human ever to pick up a tennis racquet. And have her hit back…
So, the best the Rangers could do this off-season was acquire Frank Catalanotto? Been there, done that, right? The Ron Washington Era is off to a stumbling start. Phil Bennett is coming back to SMU. Bill Parcells has been invited back to the Dallas Cowboys. But, as for your Texas…
Nick Lachey’s gonna own a minor-league baseball team with Dallas’ Kirby Schlegel. Pinch me. Since Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson aren’t dating after all–no surprise there, since, like, isn’t she supposed to be with John Mayer?–guess we’ll have to settle for Kirby Schlegel and Nick Lachey. I know. Kind of…
Adrian Jones was All-District at Carter. Now, he’s a New York Jet–and has something else in common with Joe Namath. You ever see Adrian Jones play football, back when he was named first-team All-District during his senior season at Carter High School? Me, neither. Guess he must have been pretty…
Somebody was trying to sell this Mike Vanderjagt-signed helmet on eBay. We’re pretty sure they had to pay the winner to take it off their hands. Mike Vanderjagt just kept on being right. Which, ultimately, was wrong. In a move that displays how serious the Cowboys are about winning a…
SMU may get rid of Phil Bennett, but it’s likely to extend a two-year deal to his mustache. Unfortunately for SMU, notsamuch. But almost. The Mustangs came within four points of a remarkable resurrection this season, but their 31-27 loss at Rice Saturday afternoon dropped them to 6-6 and off…
Every guy in this city officially has a man-crush on Tony Romo. Hey, what’s Jessica Simpson got Richie Whitt doesn’t? I went to Texas Stadium for the Cowboys’ mauling of the Bucs, and this season has suddenly transformed from sad to surreal. Yep, all because of an undrafted free agent…
Before the game we get Kelly Clarkson. At halftime it’s Carrie Underwood. And if the Dallas Cowboys are interested in a female mascot for Thursday’s annual Thanksgiving Day game at Texas Stadium, they should reach out to Anna Nicole Smith. Too imbalanced to fully embrace yet too tempting to totally…
Gee, wonder why the NBA’s having its All-Star Game in Las Vegas this season. Nothing to do with the fantasy suites at the hotel run by the Kings’ owners, surely. I will definitely be in attendance when the NHL All-Star Game rolls through town in January. Continuing that theme of…
Today, subscribers to Sports Illustrated will get the new issue. In there, they will find the Scorecard. Turns out, Tony Romo may, in fact, be putting the “score” into Scorecard after all: “BEING DUMPED is never fun, but Tony Romo seems to have landed on his feet after his girlfriend…
One of these people is Anna Kournikova. The other’s a guy who claims this is “work.” Sorry I’m late getting to Tony Romo’s weekly coronation. Yesterday I was still basking in a hangover from my date with Anna Kournikova. More on that next week. For now, back to our crush…
This morning, Dallas Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones told KTCK-AM (1310) morning-show hosts Craig Miller and George Dunham that there are only so many things he can do with failed place kicker Mike Vanderjagt. “I don’t think it impacts him to stare at him real hard, do you?…
Ya know what Richie’s doing tomorrow? Getting tennis lessons from this woman. He calls it “working.” Whatever eases his guilty conscience… We never really need an excuse to run a pic of Anna Kournikova, but today we actually have one. The hottest player to ever pick up a tennis racquet–and…
If it’s all the same, this is how we prefer to think of Emmitt Smith. Full disclosure: I didn’t watch one second of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. Fuller disclosure: It pains me–and every bit of my sportswritin’ DNA–to even write about it. But since the NFL’s all-time leading rusher…
Late Sunday night in Portland, Jarrett Jack dribbled up the floor against your Dallas Mavericks. The second-year guard barked out a play for the Trail Blazers, initiating a pick-and-roll on the perimeter. Back in Dallas, Mavs fans that hadn’t yet tuned out their team’s 0-4 start were treated to a…
If so, you’ll be delighted to know something called the Intense Football League is coming to Dallas. Well, actually, like everything else, it’s coming to Frisco. I don’t know a lot about this little venture, but I’m guessing it’s a semi-pro, indoor and X-tremely watered-down version of the old XFL…
We can hide it no longer: Some of us at Unfair Park have an enormous man-crush on Tony Romo. There. We feel so much better. That’s the unique challenge for your Dallas Cowboys as they upgrade from playing the one-win Cardinals to the no-loss Colts Sunday at Texas Stadium. I…
Who’s the second-best QB in the NFL. Guess. And it’s not Drew Bledsoe, whoever he is. Two names I just know you didn’t expect to see atop the charts: Borat and Romo. But, alas, here they sit. The reporter from Kazakhstan is still the No. 1 movie in the U.S…
The Rangers want this man on their team next year. So do half a dozen other MLB teams. So, bye-bye, Daisuke. It woulda been swell. Some random sports notes before Richie wakes up: The Newberg Report’s Mike Hindman sends word this a.m. that “the Seibu Lions will hold a board…
Richie would rather watch these guys Sunday and not Your Dallas Cowboys. At least these guys are supposed to keep their hands off the ball, eh, Terrell? Last night I was lucky enough to rub elbows with Cowboys named Rayfield Wright and Tony Romo at a fancy-schmancy shindig up at…
Brace yourself, Tony Romo also has a publicist. But unlike Li’l Kim Etheredge, Terrell Owens’ monstrosity of a mouthpiece, Vivian Fullerlove doesn’t smack her gum, use her client’s salary as a grossly misguided punch line or, from all indications, get her hair did at Salon de Katrina. In fact, Fullerlove…
A lawsuit stemming from this ugly incident in Oakland in 2004 is so nasty it makes this photo of the brawl look almost quaint. This almost unbelievable item comes to Unfair Park courtesy our sister paper in Oakland, the East Bay Express, which today breaks the news that a lawsuit…
