Toothpaste for Dinner As I wrote in this week’s paper version of Unfair Park, something’s going on here. And it ain’t good. Just like that, “Happy New Year” has dissolved into “Same Old Shit.” Our sports rut is deeper and dryer than ever. South Oak Cliff High School has forfeited…
This has become the iconic image concerning Liverpool FC fans’ sentiments toward Tom Hicks. Tom Hicks and his Canadian padnuh in Liverpool FC are, at long last, close to finalizing their refinancing of the storied franchise — much to the chagrin of Liverpool fans, who want the Texas Rangers and…
Been a few days since there’s been any Jessica Simpson … uh … “news,” but here’s a tidbit worth a mention: Today comes conflicting word concerning her new country album, which she’s set to record in Nashville. One source says Yoko Romo wants nothing more than for Cowboys QB Tony…
Schellas Hyndman, his name is my name too. This guy? Nope. The new coach? Uh-uh. We’re talking the most successful athletics teacher in all of SMU, one Schellas Hyndman. Hyndman, with more wins (466) than any coach in school history, was last weekend named this year’s recipient of the National…
A couple months back — or, the first time Tom Hicks was protested by Liverpool FC fans — I mentioned something about how, ya know, maybe it’d be a nice idea to start a petition calling for Hicks to sell the Texas Rangers. Liverpool fans, rallying right now in England,…
Says in this media release that tomorrow, former Dallas Cowboy Everson Walls and current Washington Redskin Shawn Springs will make an appearance in the George L. Allen Sr. Courts Building New Tower Ceremonial Courtroom on Commerce Street downtown. Only, this is no autograph session: The two will be joined by…
Speaking of local sports team owners, in the February issue of GQ, Mark Cuban sits down for a Q&A inside his Dallas office — “a room filled with pictures: Cuban playing rugby; Cuban in front of his private plane; Cuban presenting an award to Don Nelson, the former Mavericks coach…
Until Friday, Richie’s June 27 item about a Fox Sports Network TV special on Tom Hicks hadn’t received a single comment; now, there are eight nine 10 a bunch, and they keep rolling in. And most of them are written as open letters to the owner of the Dallas Stars…
Genius or brilliant? You decide. –Robert Wilonsky…
Jason Garrett had second interviews with the Baltimore Ravens and Atlanta Falcons about their head coaching jobs. But, come on, he never really had second thoughts about actually leaving the Dallas Cowboys. Garrett’s decision to stay in Dallas and become the team’s unofficial head-coach-in-waiting shocked absolutely no one with even…
And you thought there was nothing more disgusting than 2 Girls 1 Cup. Though it’s tough to trump the shocking Internet phenomenon, what happened at Texas Stadium last Sunday is even more repulsive. New York Giants 21, Dallas Cowboys 17. Are you shittin’ me? Barf! After quarterback Tony Romo’s pass…
Not funny, sure. But, face it, who wants to see Tony Sparano. As expected, Dallas Cowboys assistant head coach Tony Sparano was officially named head coach of the Miami Dolphins this morning. What does it mean for him? A couple seasons of ugly losing with a horrible team and having…
A short while ago FC Dallas announced it has moved its star player, Carlos Ruiz, to the Los Angeles Galaxy for a draft pick and allocation money. The speculation was that Ruiz was on the downhill slope of his career, and if the Hoops were ever going to get anything…
Jason Garrett ain’t moving to Baltimore … yet. But says ESPN, the chances are now “60-40” that the former Cowboys backup QB-turned-offensive coordinator will take the Ravens’ head coaching gig, which was, apparently, just offered to the world’s biggest Bob Dylan fan. Bot do note: “According to a Cowboys source,…
We wouldn’t pay $250 for a Fire Wade Phillips Web site. Because, then, where will Tracy Phillips go? Still trying to figure out how the Cowboys lost a playoff game despite limiting the Giants to only 56 yards in the second half. But let’s put away the mirrors and get…
Kentucky’s Ryan Parker is the … um … um … Ryan Adams of sport-song parodies. Perhaps you’re already familiar with his hits: 2006’s “Why The Cowboys Stink,” 2007’s A-Rod ballad “Been Caught Stealing” and so, so many more. Well, he’s got another Cowboys jam this week: “Don’t Worry Be Happy…
Thirteen wins. Twelve Pro Bowlers. Seven-point favorites. Giants 21, Cowboys 17. Zero playoff wins in 11 years … and counting. Let’s shovel some shit, toss some accusations and lay some blame, shall we?…
Because something just didn’t feel right. –Robert Wilonsky…
Last time the Cowboys won a playoff game, Tony Romo was wearing one of these jerseys … in high school. The last time the Dallas Cowboys won a playoff game, you were paying $1.22 for gas, shouting “Show me the money!” at inappropriate times after watching Jerry Maguire and lamenting…
No doubt Cowboys fans will recall the name Clayton Holmes; he was, after all, on those Dallas teams that won three Super Bowl rings in the 1990s — a defensive back and special-teams whiz, a third-round draft pick who played like a first-rounder. “As far as the guys I played…
And now, we wait a year for the divorce to be final. Endure patiently, football fans; even fake it if you have to. It’s just one last half-assed embrace. Just one more lame—and lame duck—season of our Cotton Bowl suffering as a second-tier game in a fourth-rate stadium. On January…
Rocky’s trainer, ol’ Mick, alluded to it when he warned his love-struck boxer, “Women weaken legs!” I half-ass joked about it when I wrote, “It just doesn’t feel right.” But up in New York, the very unbiased (wink) media is latching on to Tony Romo’s weekend jaunt to Mexico with…
