You Betcha: Week 3

Jack Hamm/Grace Bible Fellowship Need we remind you of what Tom Landry thought of gambling? Thought so. I know what you’re thinking: Hey, douchebag, what happened to Week 2? To which I retort, “What happens in Vegas haunts you all the way back to Dallas.” Find a comfy chair and…

We Could Be Heroes. Or Not.

Comic Book Resources offers two very odd green-screen preview pics from this week’s Sunday Night Football intro, in which Terrell Owens and Heroes’ Masi Oka vie for the title of — here it comes — most heroic. Guess it couldn’t be any worse than this. –Robert Wilonsky…

Racin’ to the Big Stage with Dale and Eddie

Now Dale Jr. is a PepsiCo man. We still prefer Dr Pepper. For those so inclined, a full transcript of Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s press conference yesterday at the Dallas Convention Center — where, as predicted, he became a PepsiCo pitchman — is available here. How long did this thing last,…

Re-Pete After Me

Pete Sampras is bringing his bag of yellow balls to Frisco this weekend. You could trek to Arlington this weekend to pay your last respects to a suck-ass baseball outfit that last night lost its 82nd game of 2007 and clinched its seventh losing season in the last eight years…

No One Wants Eddie LeBaron’s Balls

Someone call Norm Hitzges, pronto. A seller in Woodlake, California, is trying to unload a bunch of 1960 Dallas Cowboys artifacts — including autographed footballs and programs, including one from a pre-season game against the Los Angeles Rams in Oregon. The lot’s full of fascinating keepsakes — if you’re craving,…

The Cowboys’ Money in the Tank

Damn that Super Bowl scent is intoxicating. A 2-0 start, a void in the defensive line and, voila, the Dallas Cowboys are taking a chance on a guy known to stockpile more munitions than David Koresh. Dallas’ signing of gun-toting, run-stuffing Tank Johnson is, of course, vintage Jerry Jones. This…

The Moose Was Loose in the Senate

You really should take a minute or two out of your morning to read Daryl “Moose” Johnston’s testimony yesterday in front of the Senate Commerce Committee, which is investigating how the National Football League treats its former players. (Hint: not well at all.) It was powerful stuff, befitting a great…

Of Cubes and Cubs

Mark Cuban went to Wrigley Field last night, sat in the right-field bleachers and spent part of the game text-messagng Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti. The writer insists Cubs fans want Cuban to buy their team, and from the tone of his love letter to Cuban — not to mention…

High School Football: Too Big-Time for its Britches, Says One Writer

Dunno if you read this Friday, but Slate previewed Saturday night’s Miami Northwestern-Southlake Carroll game with an essay by Robert Andrew Powell, author of We Own This Game: A Season the in the Adult World of Youth Football. Even before Northwestern toppled Southlake Carroll 29-21 in front 31,896 on the…

How ‘Bout Them Cowboys’ Price Tag?

If you wanna know why Your Dallas Cowboys are worth $1.5 billion, here’s most of your reason right here. For the first time in eight years, Your Dallas Cowboys are the most valuable franchise in the National Football League — thanks to, you guessed it, that billion-dollar stadium Jerry Jones…

Texas Safety, Not So Safe

Apparently, Tyrell Gatewood just needs to stay out of the car. Bad news, Longhorn fans: “Texas senior safety Tyrell Gatewood remained in jail Thursday after his arrest on drug charges, the fifth arrest of a Longhorns player since June.” Also popped in the arrest was freshman defensive back Ben Wells,…

Romo Arigato

Considering his expansive portfolio, Jerry Jones seems a bright businessman. That’s why Tony Romo should receive a new contract. Today. Why wait? Evidenced by his scintillating five-touchdown performance in last Sunday night’s 45-35 season-opening win over the New York Giants, the Dallas Cowboys are blessed with one of the best—perhaps…

Dallas Sports Elite Swank It Up for Awards

Just give us the highlights, Scott. There won’t be a red carpet per se, but if you want to ooooh and ahhhh at the most swank of Dallas sports dignitaries all dressed up with somewhere to go, Tuesday is the night and The Fairmont Hotel is the place. It’s the…

Cuban to Launch UFC-Style Fighting Show

Apparently, Cubes ain’t content just dancing with the stars. Tomorrow, our favorite billionaire will announce a new show on his cable network called HDNet Fights, which isn’t much different than the Friday Night Fights show the network has already been airing. The main difference is that instead of relying on…

Kid Rock’s Gonna Screw Up My Cowboys-Bills Game

This is why I will be watching the October 8 Dallas Cowboys-Buffalo Bills game with the TV sound turned down and the radio broadcast cranked up. ESPN and some record labels are hopping into bed together to pimp their product — specifically, Monday Night Football and such acts as the…

Finger Fight

New York Giants safety and Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens are, like, what? Twelve-year-olds? Millionaire middle-schoolers? Because in case you haven’t been following this “story,” seems the two men are fighting over a finger — as in, did T.O. shoot Wilson the bird during Sunday night’s game at Texas…

Dynamic Debut

Apparently, there is no GQ curse, as Tony Romo tossed for 345 yards and four TDs. But what the hell is Roy WIlliams’ excuse? See. See what happens when you have a head coach who plays to win instead of plays not to lose. This is what happens: Tony Romo…

You Betcha

Remember, kids, gambling on the Pokes with real money is illegal, so don’t get caught. Nothing better than watching the Cowboys win, right? Unless, that is, you watch the Cowboys win while getting a naked rubdown from this chick and having them cover the spread as the sixth winner in…

On Thin Ice

We’ve decided to skip hockey season in 2007-’08 and just watch our special-edition bootleg DVD of Youngblood with Rob Lowe. The Dallas Stars will hold their annual “Ice Breaker” on Saturday. And, lemme guess, they’ll stage their annual “Heatbreaker” come April? ‘Twas five months ago the Stars bowed out of…

Ellis Island

Remember back when Greg Ellis was a good guy? Before the position change grousing and the contract complaints and the trade demands and the retirement threats and the career-jeopardizing injury, he was one of the Dallas Cowboys’ best players and best people. Not anymore. Not right now. It’s been a…

Seared Tuna

Bill Parcells, before hunky got a little chunky OK, I’m promising myself this won’t deteriorate into a season of Bill bashing. And it won’t. But since the NFL season doesn’t technically start until tomorrow night, can I get in one more (last?) crotch-kick to Coach Parcells? Thanks. If you missed…