Tom Hicks and Jon Daniels Can’t Wait to Meet You!

Your Texas Rangers have the worst record in the majors: 26 wins and 43 losses. So of course owner Tom Hicks would give general manager Jon Daniels a contract extension through the 2009 season; only makes sense, when you think about it. And if you’re in the mood to ask…

Jerry to Tony: Dude, Chill

http://www.myspace.com/bigdickhunter Metal Skool poses Friday night with fans Tony Romo, Big Dick Hunter and Hal Sparks. The Cowboys haytuhs’ version: Tony Romo is staining his and his team’s image by associating with a vulgar rock band that makes on-stage jokes about incest, pedophilia, devil worship and the quarterback of America’s…

Sosa What

Quite the Father’s Day. Tiger Woods, all mondo buffed (how long till the steroid whispers arise?), gets bested by Angel (ahn-HELL) Cabrera, a pudgy, chain-smoking Argentine known as “The Duck.” The Texas Rangers actually win a series, when supposed ace Kevin Millwood wins his first start in two months. And…

Who’s Your Daddy?

The perfect Father’s Day gift for the lazy, rich man in your life LeBron James got fatherhood, siring the royally named Bryce Maximus James between Games 3 and 4 of the NBA Finals. But he also got the shaft, having to play alongside hapless Cavaliers teammates that never ever threatened…

He’s Started, What, 11 Games?

So, Tony Romo wants a new contract. And he predicts the Dallas Cowboys have “a shot at winning the whole thing” this year, meaning, of course, the Super Bowl. And rumors are flying that he and Carrie Underwood are about to get engaged. And some dude made this lavish tribute…

Jersey Whirl

Apparently a few-years-old rape charge, a slew of 50-point games in a .500 season and a number change are worth more than an MVP title. But don’t take it from me. Just ask the millions of NBA fans worldwide who this season made Kobe Bryant’s No. 24 jersey the league’s…

Cheaters Never Win?

Your taxes. Your spouse. Your diet. Your résumé. Your handicap. Your death? Chances are you’ve cheated on one of them. If not, how about the time you scurried across the street instead of using the crosswalk? That day you sneaked 12 items through the 10-or-fewer grocery line? The iPod music…

Ex-Cowboys Great Will Have Nothing to Do With the NFL

Herb Adderley’s in the Hall of Fame. He’s a Super Bowl champ several times over. And he wants nothing to do with the NFL, ever. Back in February, we mentioned how Herb Adderley — Pro Football Hall of Famer as a Green Bay Packer and former cornerback for Tom Landry’s…

Our New Fave Rangers Blog

As Richie’s out on vacation this week, I thought this would be as good a time as any to forward you baseball fans — who aren’t to be confused with Texas Rangers fans — to Lone Star Ball, which I began reading only a few days back, hoping to find…

Hicks Against the Pricks

Tom Hicks — beloved on two continents. Seems the Union of European Football Associations spokesman William Gaillard said yesterday that the Tom Hicks-co-owned Liverpool football club has some pretty shite fans — something to do with their forging ducats to the team’s face-off against AC Milan in the Champions League…

Fin-tastic!

Given that the Mavs are paying Michael Finley $35 mil over the next two years, we’re gonna have to root for him come Finals time. If not Dirk, then who? As in, what player with strong Mavericks ties most deserves an NBA championship? Michael Finley, that’s who. You remember him,…

A Depressing Story About Mel Renfro

On the front page of this morning’s New York Times is a piece about how “clinical depression among retired National Football League players is strongly correlated with the number of concussions they sustained.” The story’s based on a study conducted by the University of North Carolina’s Center for the Study…

Mayor Buzzkill

You know how you know you suck? Your legacy is way worse than the guy who fired Tom Landry. I tried to help Dallas Mayor Laura Miller. No, really. Tried to give her a platform to express her personal regret/jubilation/defiance/pulse over Super Bowl XLV being played in Arlington. Made an…

A-Rod = A-Fraud

The worst day ever in Texas Rangers history. Ever. Maybe it’s his cousin’s sister’s friend, or something. Maybe his wife, Cynthia, knows all about it. Maybe it’s harmless, innocent. Or just maybe — like some of us have long been saying — Alex Rodriguez is far from the Boy Scout…

Mark Cuban Suits Up for Football

Yup — that’s what it’s going to say in Sunday’s New York Times, specifically its PLAY sports magazine. In the June 3 issue, Joe Nocera reports that Wall Street money man Bill Hambrecht and Google executive Tim Armstrong are launching a professional football league to compete with the NFL –…

Kim-Possible

For now, Anthony Kim’s at top the Colonial leaderboard. Just when we were all comfy letting the awkwardly named Crowne Plaza Invitational at Colonial run its course undetected, a local kid up and bolts to the top of the leader board. OK, admit it, we’re still going to ignore the…

Actually, Yes, These Are Your Father’s Rangers

A fool opined about how these new Texas Rangers would be constructed, and instructed, to win games not only by scores of 13-2 but also 3-2. Fool, meet gold. Er, copper. The teasing peep show we’ve seen the last eight years — eye-popping blowouts negated by numerous close losses; gaudy…

Tom Hicks: Makin’ Friends Everywhere!

First, Tom Hicks gets in hot water in the U.K. for announcing that his purchase of Liverpool’s football club was nothing more than a business decision — no different from buying, oh, a cereal manufacturer. (I do so love this headline from a pissed-off column in today’s Guardian concerning Hicks’…

Doctoring Dirk

Come in, come in. Have a seat, Dirk. Better yet, lie down on the couch. That’s right, you and your NBA Most Valuable Player trophy get comfy. Or at least try. Because that’s it, really, the reason I’ve summoned you here. To convince Dirk Nowitzki once and for all that…

Random Sports — and “Sports” — News

This picture of Keyshawn Johnson and Steve Martin might be the most confusing photo ever taken. Former Dallas Cowboys receiver Keyshawn Johnson retired today, to join ESPN as a sportscaster. Not that Johnson thinks he was ready to give up the game. “Although I am currently able to play at…

Bush Library, Meet Sports Think Tank

Jim Morris, who looks nothing like Dennis Quaid, is in town this week for a sports thingy over at SMU. Tomorrow: The Super Bowl. Today: Summit On Sports. In 2011 North Texas will give the world a grandiose, decadent event filled with parties and excess. But for the next two…