Who’s On First?

We’ll just admit it: We’ve always had kind of a man crush on Eric Nadel. Can’t explain it. And won’t. Happens one night, I figure it’s an aberration. But twice in two nights isn’t just a trend, it’s a characteristic. Book it: Texas Rangers radio broadcasters Eric Nadel and Victor…

Going for the Green

Knock on 3-wood, I’m not going to finish this column. Because at this very second I’m closer to $1 million than ever before. Than I ever will be again. All that stands between me quitting my day job and watching eternal Seinfeld reruns is 166 yards of manicured grass. Well,…

Bitter. Sweet.

Dallas Mavericks Tears. Regrets. Sorrow. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2006-’07 National Basketball Association Most Valuable Player: Dirk Nowitzki. “Honestly, this is a tough day for me,” Dirk today, just said minutes after accepting the highest individual honor in professional basketball. “Let’s face it, these are not great circumstances. As time…

If Only One of Barry Bonds’ Balls is Worth $1 Million…

My dad, and most anyone who loves baseball, figures Barry Bonds’ 756th home-run ball oughta be worth the few buck it runs retail — or slightly less, since it’ll be a used baseball. But the folks across the street from Unfair Park HQ, over at Heritage Auction Galleries, have already…

Hollow Hardware?

The first European. The first Dallas Maverick. The first — ahem — in 25 years not to get his team out of the first friggin’ round of the playoffs. As expected, Dirk Nowitzki will be named the NBA’s Most Valuable Player next Tuesday at a press conference at the American…

Michael Johnson: Still Built for Speed

Looking…looking … searching … probing … A-ha! Found one — that pebble of positivity amidst the rubble that is Dallas sports these days. Granted, it’s a s-t-r-e-t-c-h. But in the carnage left by the Stars, Mavs and Rangers, I give you Michael Johnson. You remember Dallas’ golden boy, right? Born…

Stinko de Mayo

I’ve been duped. Pickpocketed. Gutted. Turns out there isn’t a Santa Claus. The CueCat didn’t revolutionize the Internet. I’ve yet to sprout even one hair from my palm. And, worst of all, the Dallas Mavericks haven’t changed their culture. Despite tweaking coaches and role players and logos and arenas and…

Insert Knife Here. Twist.

If Dallas couldn’t beat Golden State, maybe this guy from The Colony can. So, the Mavericks lost to a hot team, right? A Golden State Warriors squad magically turning playoff pressure into playground fun, right? A bunch of loosey goosey athletes primed — no, make that destined — to author…

People are Paying Good Money for the Dallas Mavericks’ Misery

There’s a piece in The New York Times this morning about the National Basketball Association’s download service, from which you can buy individual playoff games for three bucks — or a whole series for $12.99…or the entire playoffs for $79.99. The NBA’s going to start hyping the service today, even…

Warriors In Six

Stunning. Unfathomable. Disgusting. Embarrassing. Nauseating. Devastating. Empty. Never thought I’d see it happen — especially in the first friggin’ round against the tricked-up Golden State Warriors — but the Dallas Mavericks totally and utterly wilted last night in getting eliminated in Game 6, 111-86. No other way to say it:…

The Joy Of Six

Local sports teams have a particularly lousy history besting Bay Area franchises. Just a friendly reminder. And to think, Tuesday’s pulsating, improbable rally from nine points down in the final three minutes was the easy part. For the Mavericks, the difficulty arrives in about 10 hours in Game 6 against…

Hole in None

Unlike Alberto Gonzales, I do recall. It’s a shameful recollection about a day I naively assumed a first marriage would last, about a moment I flippantly reduced Byron Nelson to a prop. “OK, OK, I’m gyot one!” I slurred to bleary-eyed buddies as my wedding pre-game deteriorated into an alcohol-aided…

Stinko de Mayo

And then, living at the other end of Funtown, are Your Texas Rangers. Nobody should be rooting harder for the Mavs than the boys who forgot how to hit a baseball. The longer they’re ignored, the better. Remember way back in April, when a goofball columnist doubted Sammy Sosa’s production…

Mavs In Seven…Still

Pause the obituary and fast-forward the optimism, because Dirk Nowitzki just saved his ass and his team’s season with a comeback of Staubachian proportions. Just as another passive performance was shoving his Mavericks to the brink of an unthinkable elimination, Nowitzki suddenly summoned one of the greatest individual finishes in…

May Day! May Day!

This is a distress alert from the North Texas Sports Disaster Service. Trained spotters in Dallas have pinpointed ominous circulation and the possibility of an unprecedented and fatal occurrence of destruction in and around the American Airlines Center. A severe warning has been issued until, oh, say, midnightish. If you…

Nellie and Cuban and the Love Lost

On the front page of this morning’s Wall Street Journal, you will find a story detailing the relationship — or, rather, rift — between Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and his former coach, Golden State’s Don Nelson. Maybe their falling-out was over money — the $6.6 mil Nellie claims Cuban…

Mavs In Seven … Mavs In Seven … Echo … Echo …

Those of you Mavs bandwagoners who hopped aboard in mid-April and blindly, boastfully predicted a sweep of the Golden State Warriors are likely not reading this, because, of course, you’ve abandoned Dallas and its 3-1 deficit. For those who actually watch basketball and believe in the power of match-ups and…