Romo Wins Job!

Tony Romo seems to think the starting QB position is still open. Uh, dude? Now, don’t go getting all flustered and drop your new Madden NFL 07. Though that damned media won’t seem to let it die, the only job Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo is winning this pre-season is…

Dearly Departed

As the sun sets over the rolling waves of Ventura County, the Cowboys say adios before moving on to…San Antonio. Not the same. Not even close. No one’s particularly happy that the Dallas Cowboys have broken training camp in Oxnard, California, for the last time. Not the media, which drools…

Worth the Weight

Tonight you can watch Evander Holyfield fight Jeremy Bates. Or you can ask your father to start a bar fight with some random dude at a truck stop. Same difference. Ever applauded a grown man wearing only his undies? Me neither. Until yesterday, that is. Of course, I’d never been…

Lemon Into Lemonade

Jerry Jones Jr. is gonna get hitched in September. So who’s gonna wear the Rowdy costume during the honeymoon? Cross one of the metroplex’s most desirable bachelors off your list. Unless you’re Bedford-bred Lori Lemon, Jerry Jones Jr. is now officially unavailable. According to extremely reliable sources, the 36-year-old heir…

P.O.’d at T.O.

Really, I think we can all do without a little Terrell Owens these days; it’s 104 out, last thing I wanna think about’s football. Wake me in November. Till then, you can read this Sports Illustrated Web site story about precisely why Owens finally got his ass back to practice…

T.O. Going A.W.O.L.?

Terrell Owens is now the spokesperson for something called the National Alliance to End Abuse, though it’s unlikely that refers to coaches and teammates. The most famous cyclist in Dallas Cowboys history returned to the field yesterday. But just because Terrell Owens is back with his team doesn’t mean he…

Canton Cowboy

Let the quarterback controversy begin. No, not that one. Sure, Dallas Cowboys backup Tony Romo looked decent in last Saturday’s preseason opener. But c’mon, Romo wasn’t built in a day. And Drew Bledsoe didn’t start tiptoeing toward Canton overnight. The only hot debate surrounding America’s premier sports position this season…

Ring of Dishonor

Used to be Dwayne Goodrich had his picture on football cards. Now, all he’s got to show for himself is this 2003 mugshot. When Dallas Cowboys Rayfield Wright and Troy Aikman were inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame earlier this month, we were reminded of what happens when…

Kids Play. Parents Compete.

On Sunday, The Dallas Morning News ran a story about Kenny Troutt, the local billionaire who flies his son’s basketball team to tournaments on a private jet normally used by the San Antonio Spurs. He has also hired three full-time coaches, two skill instructors, a general manager, a traveling secretary…

Romo, Built in a Day

If this guy is the quarterback of the future, Quincy Carter just got a free pass to the Hall of Fame. Tug the reigns on the Tony Romo bandwagon. That means you, overzealous and obnoxious Dallas Cowboys fan. And you guys, Romo’s agent and Tony’s third cousin, chill. And especially…

Bridge Over Troubled Waters

We had our theories as to why Charlie Waters might have missed his radio broadcast as the Dallas Cowboys’ on-air analyst, but it really was as simple as his contract gave him an out, so he took it. You would have too. If you turned on the TV Saturday night…

Quarterback of the Future of the Past

Yeah, I really miss Chad Hutchinson–especially that winning grin that asked, “Exactly how do you a throw a football?” Tony Romo threw the crap outta the football on Saturday night. Quarterback of the future; you read it here first or thereabouts. Course, I think I said the same thing about…

Overpaid and Overpaid

Terrell Owens can’t sell his $4 million New Jersey house. Wanh. And wanh. If you’re like me, you could probably do without another Terrell Owens story right about now. But for some reason, this one makes me kind of happy. Apparently, T.O. is having some trouble selling his house in…

Lost & Found

Barbara Lorenz Carly Patterson is gonna be on reality TV. With Cyndi Lauper. On Fox. Those are the teardrops of pride, my friend. Remember two summers ago when a spunky 16-year-old from Allen won our hearts and the gold medal in women’s gymnastics at the Athens Olympics? Then, like, remember…

SMU Basketball! Live! In Austin?

The local Air America affiliate will carry coach Mike Doherty’s SMU Mustangs this fall…Wait, Dallas has an Air America affiliate? Wanna hear the first SMU basketball game of the Matt Doherty era? Wanna listen to Highland Park’s football team defend its state championship? Then you better start tuning to the…

Cue Aretha Franklin

We now take this brief T.O. from T.O. to talk about positive, harmonious, winning football: So what do two consecutive mythical national championships, a 63-1 record over four years and a 32-game winning streak get you? If you’re the Southlake Carroll High School football team, it gets you a slap…

Think Pink

For the next God knows how long, Terrell Owens will be healing his hammy in a hyperbaric chamber. How weird, creepy and unsportsmanlike of him. Getcha popcorn ready. And, while you’re at it, keep the Pepto-Bismol handy. As the Dallas Cowboys are already starting to figure out, Terrell Owens comes…

The Real Deal Needs to Quit. Really.

Heidi Klum takes a bite out of The Real Deal and realizes he tastes a little past the expiration date. I can’t remember the exact moment I became an Evander Holyfield fan. Maybe it was when a young Snoop Dogg claimed that he was “realer than real deal Holyfield.” Maybe…

You Can Leave Your Hat On

This could be something. Or nothing. Or something really interesting. Went to Dallas Cowboys training camp in Oxnard, California, last week. Saw owner Jerry Jones the first couple days. Interviewed him at length the third day. Saw him a couple other days. Then I came home and flipped on Saturday’s…

Barnes Storming

Benny Barnes was no Dallas Cowboys spare. He played 11 years with the team–from 1972 through the 1982 season, for a total of 139 games–as a defensive back, and he was the subject of a controversial call involving a Terry Bradshaw pass to Lynn Swann in Super Bowl XIII in…

Clean Up, Aisle Two!

New SMU basketball coach Matt Doherty may be better than Jimmy Tubbs. But so much for the part about him being cleaner. Just four months into his new gig on the Hilltop, Doherty’s program has been slapped on the wrist for an NCAA rules violation. Seems one of Doherty’s assistant…

Juan Gone…to Long Island

Juan Gonzalez ain’t no Roy Tarpley, but it’s gotta be a very close second. Looks like today is a sportsy day in Unfair Park. So, on that note… On Saturday, the New York Daily News ran a story about a mysterious bag found at Pearson International Airport in Toronto three…