I leave town for one week, and all sorts of misbehavior happens. I can’t say I am surprised, but I am disappointed. Over at FrontBurner, Tim Rogers has been engaging in wishful journalism again about how the TrinityVote petition campaign will come up short of the required signatures to force…
Dear Readers, You love us, you really love us! Mere moments after publishing my July 12 column (in which Know Nothings had their say on the failed Senate amnesty bill), ustedes bombarded the Mexican with letters expressing your disgust toward those pendejos. Space prohibits the printing of all, so let’s…
Last week, thinking about how great the newly opened Old Red Museum is downtown—and then thinking about the fact that it’s under the Dallas County Board of Commissioners—I was reminded of a favorite Bible verse, Matthew 7:6. “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your…
Dear Mexican: Why don’t Mexicans ever drop their Spanish? Even third- and fourth-generation Mexican-Americans still speak the language to some degree or another. I speak Japanese, but I’m losing it quickly, and when my mother passes on, so will my language. The typical Asian-American kid may attend Chinese, Korean, or…
Well, now I feel stupid, because this sounds like I’m bragging about my kid, which really would be stupid at this point. I only wrote the item yesterday saying he was going to run with the bulls at Pamplona because I couldn’t make myself stop worrying about it. Anyway, he…
I am keeping up with Pamplona bull running news this week, because my son, Will, is over there and determined to run with the bulls this weekend. This is the latest news: “Charging bulls gored seven people and seriously injured several others Thursday as this year’s San Fermin festival in…
Dear Gabachos: You love us, you really love us! Mere moments after the Senate allowed an amnesty bill to collapse like the peso’s value, ustedes bombarded the Mexican with typo-heavy valentines. To commemorate America’s latest amnesic spell regarding its immigrants and assimilation (previous examples include the Chinese Exclusion Act, the…
I waited two weeks. Maybe in that time, I thought, the city’s big-hair media (The Dallas Morning News editorial page, D magazine, PaperCity) might acknowledge that they were totally wrong. At the end of last month TrinityVote, the group seeking a referendum on building a toll road in the river…
In my column last week I wrote, “Blaming the Corps is a way for New Orleans to dodge its own responsibility for its demise” about Katrina. Since then, the paper version of Unfair Park has received angry missives from New Orleanians accusing me of blaming the victim. Well, you know,…
Trust your eyes. Go with common sense. If you’ve seen pictures of the Trinity River flooded from levee to levee in downtown, believe your gut: It’s a fat angry cottonmouth snake inside your house. If you have driven over the river, I don’t have to tell you: That slimey thick-shouldered…
Dear Mexican, I welcome the inclusion of a nice big scoop of chopped habaneros in the bland casserole that is America. Must admit, however, it gave me pause the other day when I saw an all-too-typical familia of recent arrivals at K-Mart: mom, pop and four kids less than 5…
You think Angela Hunt’s going to come up short of signatures? Really? That’s honestly what you think? Anonymized posts and e-mails to Unfair Park over the weekend have suggested the Dallas City Secretary’s Office is already finding a low ratio of valid signatures on petitions turned in last Friday for…
Just moments ago I spoke with U.S. Army Corps of Engineers officials at Lake Lewisville and at Corps regional headquarters in Fort Worth, all of whom have assured me there have been no “unusual” releases of water from the six Corps-controlled lakes upstream from Dallas on the Trinity River. But,…
Go look at the Trinity River today. The part where the city wants to build a toll road is under water. And if you can’t get out of your office, because maybe it’s pouring again, here’s our slideshow presentation — 18 photos all told, each one worth … well, you…
Dear Mexican, A friend asked me years ago to come up with a Spanish word or phrase that contains fewer syllables than its English counterpart. After years of thinking about this, the only one I could come up with is “Tengo sed” (three syllables) compared to “I am thirsty” (four…
I can’t stand reading The Dallas Morning News because it gives me a gigantic headache. Why would I pay to have something delivered to my doorstep every day when I always wind up wanting to hurl it back at the guy who threw it at me? Four days before the…
City council just broke for executive session. Consensus of long-time informed and insightful City Hall observers (which is to say, me and Bill Zeeble) is that Tom Leppert is real, real slick so far. Where Laura was a heat-seeking missile, he’s more like Wonder Woman’s invisible plane. He is very…
I’m all for the little guy and the common touch and all that, but I do think there are rules of decorum that we must all follow. It upsets me when I see the rules flouted in certain circumstances, even when the flouters may not know any better. Ignorance not…
I saw the little gotcha thing Wick Allison had Tim Rogers do over at FrontBurner about how one of the people gathering signatures for the Trinity toll road referendum turned out to have a criminal record for murder. I see that city council member Angela Hunt, the de facto commander…
OK, I know you already think I think I’m some kind of East Dallas Mahatma Gandhi or something. I really am not. I believe in profit and private property and free enterprise and all that junk. But it’s just sort of nice and a little refreshing once in a blue…
Dear Readers, Contrary to what some of ustedes think, racist gabachos or self-hating Mexicans aren’t my only fans. Many of our friendly neighbors to the Great White Norte also love the Mexican. In honor of my hometown Anaheim Ducks pounding on pussy Canadians to win the NHL Stanley Cup, I…
Thought I heard right. I had to get back to the office and listen to it again on tape. But, yeah. At the city council briefing today, your city council agreed to spend approximately $1.2 million of your money getting into the newspaper business. And common sense says it’s going…
