June Jones is Smarter Than Your Average Pineapple

Wonder if SMU AD Steve Orsini has an extra $400k laying around. Just in case. SMU football coach June Jones is going back to Hawaii. Relax. It’s just so he can avoid re-paying his former employer a cool $400,000. The University of Hawaii thinks Jones owes it the cash –…

Best. Headline. Ever.

Sometimes, despite having no punch line or manufacturing no local angle, I stumble upon stories just too good not to share. Like, say, this one. — Richie Whitt…

Ask A Mexican

Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American, but I always lie and tell people my ancestors were from Spain and immigrated to the United States in the 1920s. My whole family says this. We feel embarrassed if we tell people that our heritage is Mexican because Mexicans in the USA are so…

Here’s To You, SM-Who?

David Stanley When you think Penn State football, it’s Joe Paterno. Texas? Gotta go with Earl Campbell. Boise State? Blue astroturf. Boston College? Doug Flutie’s Hail Mary in the Orange Bowl. SMU? Hmmm. Can I phone a friend? In a confusing-yet-intriguing promo, CBS College Sports TV is somehow, I think,…

Caraway Cares About The Kids

Deputy Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway Deputy Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway has been sort of on my case ever since I wrote an article this article in the paper version of Unfair Park in March. He says I made him out to be a grandstander and a flim-flam man,…

In Downtown Dallas, Perhaps, a Streetcar Named Common Sense

Just came back from the “streetcar workshop” in the basement of City Hall. A bunch of trolley experts from around the country talked to a small crowd of downtown policy wonks, wonkettes and wonkerinas about building a trolley system in downtown. And guess what? It looks like the best idea…

Holiday Homework

The Top 5 things I command, okay request, you to do over the Memorial Day Weekend. Yes, there will be a pop quiz Tuesday morning. 1. Fly this. 2. Drink this. 3. Eat these. 4. Try to tell this guy from this guy. No wonder the Cowboys landed Super Bowl…

To Commemorate Memorial Day, SMU Basketball is Flying to … Africa?

class=”blogImageCaption”>Longest road trip in Mustangs’ history? If ZZ Top can appear on American Idol, I guess anything’s possible. Even SMU’s basketball team embarking on an African Tour. The squad, led by head coach Matt Doherty, leaves Sunday for a 12-day trip to Senegal and South Africa. Why? Good will. Recruiting…

Based Here. Best Here. Surely You Jest Here?

Let’s see, that’s $15, another $15, another $15 … oh, screw it. In the dumbest move since your Texas Rangers decided to fix their first base problems with a guy who has never played the position, American Airlines is announcing it will skip the nickel-and-diming of customers and go right…

Ask A Mexican

Dear Mexican: Why did the Mexican comedian Cantinflas never catch on in Hollywood? I thought he was supposed to usher in the Mexican wave of actors and movies that would help transform Hollywood. Instead, that movement ended up flat as a tortilla. —El Curioso Dear Curious Gabacho: Do people even…

Clang, Clang, Clang Goes the Downtown Trolley, Just Maybe?

Johns Hopkins University Well, thank goodness for Morgan Lyons, that’s all I can say. A little birdie called to alert me to a very important meeting taking place Friday at City Hall to discuss building a trolley line through downtown and also to talk about the second downtown light-rail alignment…

Scooch a Bit SMU, You (May) Finally Have Company

The NCAA might wipe off the SMU dust and fire up ol’ Sparky one more time. Since the NCAA sentenced SMU’s football program to the death penalty 22 years ago, the organization has admitted its error by pardoning more than 30 schools that committed similarly egregious violations. Thanks to Division…

Toll Road Hard and Put Up Wet

Yet another conceptual drawing of a far-off project pushed further back on the calendar. Last night at 10, WFAA-Channel 8 ran a good story on the growing delays in the Trinity River toll road timeline. According to Mayor Tom Leppert’s own metric for the cost of delays, the toll road…

So Are They Or Aren’t They?

Don’t worry, even if Tony dumps Jessica I’ll still find some excuse to run her pics. Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are officially broken up. Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are officially still together. But really, as long as he limits his jumping on stage with Metal Skool and curtails…

Ask A Mexican

Dear readers: My recent column regarding the dissimilarities between Scots and Mexicans provoked a surprising amount of angry responses—by real Scotsmen furious that letter writer Great Scot could be so pendejo. Here’s the best reader carta: Having just read Great Scot’s question and your response, I can’t help but think…