Six Tips for a Perfect Summer. With Boobs.

It’s hot outside. And sunny. We call this “summer.” I’m told it’s the time of year we’re all supposed to “Get that beach body!” At first, I was extremely excited about this concept: “Who wouldn’t want to treasure hunt for a body at the beach, right? Maybe it’s a Dexter-ish…

Dallas Has a Lesson to Learn About Segregation from Scary Detroit

Stories about my old hometown, Detroit, are no longer merely depressing. The word, depressing, just doesn’t get it. Detroit is beginning to be fascinating. Its plight is almost mesmerizing, in a science-fiction post-apocalyptic kind of way. Terrible awful unbelievable story in The New York Times today saying, among other things,…

Why Can’t My Band Land A Record Deal?

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist, and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

Learning to Accept the Extremes of Cancer

Lindsey BestAndrew Youssef [Editor’s Note: Longtime concert photographer Andrew Youssef found out almost two years ago that he had Stage IV Colon Cancer. In that time, he has continued to shoot tons of music events for our sister paper OC Weekly on top of other freelance work and working a…

Running from DISD

I’m like you. Since Mike Miles started as Dallas schools chief a year ago, seven people have resigned from his leadership team. I wonder what’s wrong. Why are these people leaving? Is it Miles? The school board? Me? My dogs? It’s not easy to get a good answer, because the…

Aztecs Among Us?

My recent columna about whether Aztec savagery influences violence in Mexico today drew muchos responses. Here are two: Dear Mexican: I grew up in Huntington Beach and am a “brown man” (Iranian descent). I’m currently in Shitzona finishing up pharmacy school and made an observation today. The reason Mexicans are…

Let’s Play White Rock Lake Bingo

Summer’s here and the time is right for hitting up White Rock lake but not — and we mean this — to swim in it. Oh, no no no. Instead, take this handy dandy bingo card with you and play along as you walk the trails around the lake. Watch…

A Very Serious Conversation with Shaun Colon of Dang!Records!

Folks, meet my former co-worker Shaun Colon. Shaun and I worked together briefly in 2009 at The Absolute Space, a recording and video studio, as well as 100-room rehearsal facility in Dallas. Absolute is gone now, but the memories remain of aligning with some profound musical talent and pretty cool…

We’re Sick of Our Crappy Manager

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist, and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

Meshuggah Helps A Cancer Patient’s Dream Comes True

Lindsey BestAndrew Youssef [Editor’s Note: Longtime concert photographer Andrew Youssef found out almost two years ago that he had Stage IV Colon Cancer. In that time, he has continued to shoot tons of music events for our sister paper OC Weekly on top of other freelance work and working a…

Bernadette Nutall and Other Profiteers of Inferiority Must Go

Heed what just happened in the battle over next year’s school budget for Dallas. Black elected leaders on the school board voted for segregation and failure. It’s time for everybody — I mean everybody — to rethink the role of black elected leadership in this city. Of course the traditionally…

How to Start a Record Collection: Summer Edition

Collecting records can so frequently be about the chase or the dig. But it’s 100 degrees out there and frankly it’s about to be too hot to do anything besides drink Topo Chico over crushed ice and slurp paletas all day. So the digging, the digging will have to wait…

The Key is The Songs, Not the Production Values

Are you a musician? Is your group having issues? Ask Fan Landers! Critic Jessica Hopper has played in and managed bands, toured internationally, booked shows, produced records, worked as a publicist, and is the author of The Girls’ Guide to Rocking, a how-to for teen ladies. She is here to…

FEMA’s Rejection of More Money for West Seems Fair Enough

Let me see if I get this. FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, is already paying Texas 75 percent of its costs for cleanup in West and making $8 million in low interest loans to individuals. But because FEMA ruled recently that Texas is capable of picking up the balance…