Who’ll Stop the Rain? Rick Perry’s Pals, That’s Who.

Rick Perry wasn’t able to seize private property and build a Spanish toll road four football fields wide from Mexico to Oklahoma. He’s probably not going to get away with making academic research illegal. But his legacy may be even bigger. By the time he’s done being our governor, Perry…

Mexicans, Mormons and Mitt: More Alike Than You Think

Dear Readers: I usually save reruns of my columna for when I have to smuggle in the latest cousin from the rancho, but the ascendancy of Republic presidential candidate Mitt Romney must be addressed — namely, that he’s half-Mexican. The lamestream media is treating this as a revelation — never…

Zebra Mussel Threat to Texas Lakes is Misunderestimated

Three weeks ago I wrote a column for the paper about a plan to pump drinking water from Lake Texoma even though the lake is contaminated by zebra mussels, an invasive species that can annihilate other animal life in a lake and promote blooms of toxic algae. We here in…

The Queen of Excess: Kim Finch Rocks the Double and Single Wide

Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth music. Who is Kim Finch? Hell if she knows. She’d pour you a nice shot if you could help her figure that out. Finch was once “Puncho Villa” in the Assassination City…

Is Bankrupt AMR About To Throw its Employees Under the Plane?

Stories in today’s Dallas Morning News and New York Times report that American Airlines could try to ditch some or all of its pension plans during its trip through bankruptcy court. We should all hate that. Every time we allow another business to slash the throats of its own retirees,…

Why Mexico Stinks at the Olympics

Dear Mexican: How come Mexicans don’t perform in the Winter Olympics? No talent? Or are Mexicans afraid of snow? I’m thinking both. Also, Mexicans don’t do too well in the Summer Olympics, either. They even suck in soccer. There is plenty of snow in Mexico, so don’t use that excuse…

Price Corruption Probe: You’re All Black. Go to Jail?

Everybody I talk to thinks the FBI Dallas County corruption investigation will produce indictments soon. The rumor is that the targeted alleged co-conspirators are tattling on each other so fast they’re giving new meaning to the phrase “rat race.” The investigation centers on Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price, the…

Dallas Farmer’s Market: Cut it Off at the Roots

Here’s an idea. Nuke the Dallas Farmers Market. Seriously. Blow it up. Scrape it. Give the poor thing a decent burial, and then start from scratch. Look at it. Everything about it says, “Dead on Arrival.” Let’s get real. The homeless issue at the market is by no means the…

Why can’t Anglos Pronounce Spanish Words?

Dear Mexican: In my hometown of Playa Larga (Long Beach, California), natives refer to a major avenida, Junipero Avenue, as Juan-a-pear-o. There is no “Juan” in Junipero, but that’s how everyone in this town pronounces it. I even heard a former mayor pronounce it that way. Why do white Americans…

Up East Dallas Without a Paddle

Very mixed feelings about the city council briefing coming up this morning on proposed East Dallas storm-water projects. On the one hand, my paranoia is confirmed, which is always satisfying. On the other hand, there’s not much I can do about it. Yes, just as I thought, my house in…

Ilona Scheel Rocks Around the Loft in Fair Park

Welcome to Local Music ‘Mericans, where we get to know the people behind the scenes in Dallas/Fort Worth music. Ever look up at apartments above some of our local bars and wonder who the hell lives there? Meet Ilona Scheel, who resides just above Expo Park’s Amsterdam Bar. No, she’s…

A Quick Kick at Rick, While He’s Still Around

I’m afraid Rick Perry will evaporate soon from the presidential coverage, and I won’t get to say my little piece about him. So just in case, here it is. Months ago I was asked by the company I work for to produce a piece about Perry’s so-called economic miracle in…

North Texas Bets Big on Pumping from Lake Texoma

At the beginning of the month, I had a column in the paper talking about a study saying the Dallas area is in much better shape than many of the nation’s big metropolitan areas in terms of water supply. Now it turns out we’re betting the farm and risking the…