I know exactly what the election results are going to be: the biggest, most amazing Republican majority ever, bigger than the best majority Jimmy Hoffa ever got in a Teamsters election. I think the Republicans will all win by 100 percent to zero. I also don’t think you’ll be hearing…
You know what former Observer columnists don’t like? Being called glib and duplicitous by current Observer columnists. Mayor Laura Miller and I sat down yesterday for what became a quite rancorous hour-and-45 minute interview in the mayor’s conference room at City Hall. I’d describe a lot of it as the…
I hated giving this kid rides home, not because I was afraid of his neighborhood—maybe I was a little—but more because after we put him out of the car and drove off, my heart sank, as if we had just left a naked infant alone on an ice floe. It…
Dear Mexican, A friend says she read somewhere that only 20 percent of Mexican men will go down on their ladies. I don’t believe that. Can you “spread” some light on the subject? Dear Gabacho, Dear Handsome Let me penetrate the thrust of your friend’s argument by referring her to…
You know who doesn’t support the bond election? Guess. C’mon. Guess. My phone lines and e-mail have been burning all morning with messages from North Dallas types not quite able to believe what they found in their mail yesterday. It’s a slick, color fold-out piece from District 13 city councilmember…
Dear Mexican, It’s hard out here for a brotha! First, we had to deal with those pieces of shit called the KKK and their supporters. Now we have to deal with the freakin’ Mexican invasion. Now I see why whites fretted over seeing their neighborhoods turn dark when Cleophus and…
Maybe Katrina will save Dallas. All we need is a leader willing to put human lives and safety ahead of real estate deals and decorative bridges. Please let me know if you spot anybody like that within 10 miles of City Hall. Last Friday in Chicago, a panel of engineering…
I failed to get on the elevator fast enough to avoid a big gross-out scene at City Hall this afternoon. Yuck! I was subjected to witnessing big hugs in the hallway between city staffers and the developer they had just helped beat the mayor on a tax cut deal. I’m…
You know what scares Tony Goolsby more than a Democrat? A lot of Democrats. I spoke this morning at a meeting of the Norwood Republican Women’s Club at the Fretz Park Library in North Dallas. I decided not to use my usual canned speech (“All Republican Congressmen are members of…
So once in a while I don’t get something just perfectly right-on, 100 percent gold-plate correct. So, sue…uh, cancel that. In a case where I have been less than totally right I need to provide…well, I’m still not going to call it a correction…elaboration. I’m not talking about actual factual…
Dear Mexican, I have very, very light skin because of my Scandinavian heritage. Around Halloween, someone asked me if it was white-face makeup. Why is it that Mexican men find my pallor so fascinating? –Fair Maiden Dear Gabacha, BECAUSE YOU’RE WHITE. Mexicans love gabachos even though you’ve fucked our country…
Dear Mexican, How can you explain the disparity between Japan and Mexico? Japan is a nation a fraction the size of Mexico, with zero natural resources, that suffered a devastating war of four years that included two atom bombs yet has reached the highest in educational achievements, technological advancements and…
On the evening of Friday, September 29, an eight-page, single-spaced memo went out from the office of the Dallas city manager to all members of the city council warning them about inquiries into the Trinity River project being made by “members of the media, mainly print reporters who have closely…
Dear Mexican, I once got into a fight with a cholo. We beat the crap out of each other, but when all was said and done, I kicked his ass harder than he kicked mine, and the cholo ran off swearing and spitting. I assumed the matter was settled, but…
Apparently, the new bid for the Calatrava bridge includes building the thing outta PVC pipe and a cylindrical steel frame. Which isn’t exactly what Santiago had in mind… On FrontBurner, Tim Rogers comments with obvious satisfaction on word today that the city has come up with a bid for the…
Sign spotted this morning on light pole at Fitzhugh and Swiss: “Lost Turtle. He is six inches long. Reward. 214 826 3378.” Sign includes photo of very cute turtle. C’mon, folks. You don’t put up posters of your turtle unless you’re really hurting. Has anybody seen this bad boy? Give…
It’s hard for people to keep up, so every once in a while I’d like to do a City Council Status update for the blog. Just a few lines to let people know what’s up as of now. As of this moment the Dallas city council and city staff are…
Mitchell Rasansky got his poll results. Says they look good. Then, that’s what the doctor told us last time, and, ah, not so much, buddy. Mitchell Rasansky assured me that as of 1500 hours Central Standard Time October 3, 2006 he still had not made up his mind whether to…
It’s not that Jim’s opposed to boats and boardwalks on the Trinity. He just wants to know where the money’s coming from to pay for this fantasyland. Tim, I must tell you: That barely perceptible little tone of irritation suits you. You should go with your feelings more often. For…
Dear Readers, Folks went loco following my September 7 column that blamed Chicano studies for spawning a generation of humorless activists and “corrupt[ing] the brains of young Mexicans with antiquated concepts like victimization, objectification and grade inflation.” Too many letters and comments from professors, activists and Zach de la Rocha…
So what do you think Yankees should talk like when they come to Texas? Does it do them any good to try to talk like Texans? No, I didn’t think so either. Especially when they’re Hillary Clinton. If we know anything at all in Dallas, it’s about Yankees. This is…
Tim. Seriously. You state that the water from the sewage plant will be much cleaner than the water in the river. That’s true. Then you propose a continuous loop, sans portage, going with the flow from the downstream sewage plant upriver through the lake, then downstream via the river, going…
