Wiping the Sheen off Conservative Rich Guys’ Morality

Today, a commenter on a previous blog item of mine about GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain suggested it was mighty mysterious that President Obama doesn’t have any sexual peccadilloes in his closet when so many Republican presidential contenders seem to. “Joshua,” the commenter, suggested the “Chicago mob of politicos” probably…

Half-Mexicans: the group everyone can hate, even Mexicans.

Dear Mexican: Having been called a “gabacho” by “Mexicans” much lighter than I and “wetback” by those whose parents (or themselves) crossed several rivers as they migrated west to California, I’m curious as to which group you believe I should hold in the greatest disdain. While Anglo wetbacks are much…

Gassy Knoll: Dark Forces Silencing JFK Conspiracy Folk

The 50th anniversary of the murder of President John F. Kennedy in Dealey Plaza is still two years off, but somebody is already trying to shut down the plaza for the entire week of November 22, 2013. I’m not sure who yet. It’s either the Sixth Floor Museum or City…

Another Crushing Revelation About Cain

I am in contact with a woman whose identity I have agreed not to divulge, a middle-aged affluent Republican homemaker in the snooty Park Cities portion of Dallas, who says that she has not had an affair with Herman Cain. Of course I found her story difficult to believe at…

My Search For The Perfect Omelet Came Up Short At The Mansion

“I’ll have the omelet please, and black coffee,” I told my waiter. I was researching Dallas’ best breakfasts and hoped a luxury hotel version from the Mansion on Turtle Creek would make the cut. My waiter asked what kind of filling I wanted with my eggs, and I responded that…

Ice Cometh, Man: No, You Are Not an Excellent Driver

Oh, no. The ice-driving season is about to come back to Dallas for its annual reign of terror. We’re all going to die. When I moved to Texas from Michigan about 100 years ago, the common wisdom was that people from the North knew how to drive on ice and…

Are More Mexicans Becoming Conservative?

Dear Mexican: GOP Senator Mel Martinez authored a decent compromise bill to resolve the growing illegal immigration problem. He broke up the group of 11 million illegals into three classes. Those in the United States for two or fewer years would be expelled. Those in the country for two to…

Whistle-Blowers Claim City Misused Housing Money

Riddle: What does the city of Dallas have in common with Westchester County, New York? This is a hard one. They’re a county. We’re a city. They’re Yankees. We’re not. Their median home value is $559,800, according to the census. Ours is $128,800. Getting tired of this? OK, I’ll tell…

There’s a Wolf at Rick Perry’s Door

Wolf Blitzer of CNN takes on the Republican candidates tonight for the second foreign policy debate. This is the do-or-die moment for our homeboy: Either Rick Perry repairs his fortunes and escapes the back-bench or he’s toast. Perry’s people know that, so our governor is going to be all-in tonight,…

Why is Mexico Such a Dump?

Dear Mexican: Why is Mexico such a dump? Just to name a few of the problems: stray dogs running all over the place, piles of trash burning in the street, blown-out tires hanging from cactus by the side of the road, shredded plastic shopping bags plastering every fence, rampant corruption…

City Council Rolls a Gutter Ball on Greenville

Last week the city council shot down a six-lane bowling alley on Lower Greenville Avenue next to Good Records, denying zoning for a $1.5 million project there because activists told the council the bowling alley and attached bar would draw hordes of loud drunken outsiders to the neighborhood. Really? We…