Audio By Carbonatix
Bros, aren’t you pumped? Let’s get effing pumped, bros. Why? Because Ruffles Ultimate Fucking Ruffles is “giving guys their first taste of the Ultimate party.”
Whose biceps undulated when you heard that? Mine did, like a goddamn ocean. It’s gonna be unapologetic. You see, Ruffles Ultimate Potato Chips and Ruffles Ultimate dips are holding a contest. The winner of this contest will get to eat a whole shitload of fucking like, jalapeno ranch beef chips and shit, with, like, a bunch of freaking awesome chicks from Maxim. The Maxim 100. Bro, you know how awesome this is? I just screamed so loud my eye went bloodshot.
All you have to do is:
Submit a story about the most epic time you and your bros had together and if your story is selected, Ruffles® Ultimate Potato Chips and Dips will get you and three of your best buddies on a flight, put you up at a hotel, and get you into the legendary Maxim Hot 100 party.
Will you step up to support Dallas Observer this year?
At the Dallas Observer, we’re small and scrappy — and we make the most of every dollar from our supporters. Right now, we’re $14,000 away from reaching our December 31 goal of $30,000. If you’ve ever learned something new, stayed informed, or felt more connected because of the Dallas Observer, now’s the time to give back.
Aside from not being able to remember the last I had a good time without ruffled chips, there’s male bonding involved. YEAH DUDE, YEAH! Male bonding, according to the press release, is a “rite of passage.”
You’re goddamn right. And there better be some Beef N’ Cheese dip involved.
Apparently, “the chips rock twice the size and depth of the ridges in original Ruffles chip,” and, AND, you’ll be able to celebrate those “thick, deep ridges” by shoving them in your face alongside “MAXIM’s world’s most beautiful women.”
There’ll be ranch everywhere, you guys.
