Audio By Carbonatix
I stumbled upon the SSahm BBQ food truck while walking through the Arts District playing hipster bingo. (“Another fedora. Dang. Already got that one. Wait — there’s a dude in somehow-baggy-size-zero skinny jeans walking with a girl in a too-short romper!! She’s got a sugar glider in a bonding-pouch necklace!!! Hell yeah! Instant bingo!!!”)
The “gourmet Korean taco” truck was just opening up, but already there were a few people checking out the menu and forming a line. A few tables and chairs were set up in the shade and a waitress-type walked out of the truck to guide customers through their super-simple menu, make small talk about how hot it is outside lately and take food orders. This is how Dallas likes its food trucks: more restaurant-y, less fair-goer.
I ordered a $3 beef taco (marinated certified Angus chuck short rib, sesame soy vinaigrette salad, caramelized kimchee, cilantro, onion and salsa rojo on two corn tortillas) and the $4 “small” portion of kimchee fries (fresh hand-cut potatoes, Monterey Jack and cheddar cheese, cilantro, onion, caramelized kimchee and spicy mayo).
The taco was good, but the kimchee fries were glorious.
Me: Daaaaaaaaaamn, kimchee fries. You fine.
Kimchee fries: Duh.
Me: Monterey Jack and cheddar, though? Really? Korean barbecue purists aren’t gonna be down with that.
Kimchee fries: Oh, you don’t think so? Let me check real quick and see if I give a shit. [beat] Nope. There’s not one shit here that I give. Because if you can’t take off your purist hat for one second to enjoy the cheese plus kimchee plus fries heavenfuck that I am, then you’re just a parade rainer. You’re ordering food off of a gaddamned truck. Live a little. Also, Snuffer’s cheese fries can blow me. Yeah, I said it.
I did, indeed, eat the entire basket of kimchee fries. And I punched myself in the lady groin afterward for not having ordered the larger size. Go to the SSahm BBQ truck. Order the large kimchee fries for $7. Consume this spicy, angel-winged french fry Prozac immediately. You’re welcome.
