Idol Rich: TUrban in the Bottom and Demi and Joe Are Together At Last.

Hey, I got two out of three. We wound up with Paige Miles, Tim Urban and Katie Stevens in the Bottom Three. And Paige Miles, as expected, was sent home. What wasn't expected was for Simon to tell her there was absolutely no chance in hell they'd give her the coveted judges save no matter what she was going to sing... before she knocked it out of the theater. Belted one helluva number. But maybe with the pressure off...

Anyway, Miles won't be going on the American Idol summer tour, but TUrban will be. Perhaps during that time on the road he can cultivate some feeling with which to sing his songs...or at least learn how to wipe the fake HSF off his head. Miracles do happen. Clearly, because as she said again on the show--after a lackluster, at best, performance herself--Miley Cyrus digs herself some Timmy. She said her one disappointment on the performance show was how hard the judges were on him. Seeing as how he earned his ass a spot on a B3 stool, methinks America disagrees with the hair-extensioned nymph.

Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato, also from round these parts as you may remember, also performed a duet on the results show. As I texted our own Pete Freedman, "Dude...They sorta sucked ass."

All they're really good for is the massive wail. You know, the "foghorn pop" show of runs and trills. The low, quiet parts were oh so weak, and as Randy would say, pitchy, dawg.

But whatever. The best part was the awkward interlude that came when Ryan Seacrest (or, Li'l RyRy, as he is referred to in my house) reminded Jonas that he was the guest judge in Dallas when Tim Urban auditioned. 

Li'l RyRy: "You saw him, and put him through."
JoeBronas: "I know. Hey, TIm." [Waves over to the shame stools] "How's it goin', Tim?" 
TUrban: [Tim kinda throws his hands up.] 
JoeBronas: "I guess it's not goin' really well right now." [Looks over at Lovato.] "Pretty uncomfortable." [Looks back at the shame stools.] "I'll cross my fingers for ya." 

At that point Stevens had been sent back to SafeCouch and it was just Miles and Urban, so essentially, Jonas' finger crossing screwed Miles out of success. Kidding. Or am I? Yes, I am. Really? Absolutely. Kinda. Really, I just blame him for the fact that I ran out of Diet Coke while writing this. Really? No. Well, kinda. 

And in case you were wondering, the love child of Huey Lewis and Jonathan Tyler was safe.

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Merritt Martin
Contact: Merritt Martin