HELLYEAH! CD Release
July 18, 2010
Better than: being mugged. Maybe.
As I drove into the barren wasteland that is known as West Dallas, I knew the night was going to be an adventure. Certainly, a metal band is probably the only act that could get away with having a CD release show at a gentleman's club, and, given the fact that Vinnie Paul Abbott, former member of Pantera and current drummer for HELLYEAH!, has an ownership stake in this particular establishment, the setting seemed appropriate.
But once inside The Clubhouse (after navigating the barely paved back roads that lead to the place), I questioned not only my own sanity for accepting the assignment, but the sanity of all mankind as well.
Being inside The Clubhouse reminds me of the nightclub scenes in the
movie Cat People. Sure, every strip bar is usually dark. But this place
was beyond dank.
And from the door flowed a seemingly endless line of heavily tattooed bikers and even more heavily tattooed biker chicks. The stages were filled with strippers who looked like they were auditioning for a part in Oliver Stone's new film adaptation of Sodom and Gomorrah. It was difficult to see much difference between the clientele (female or male) and the dancers.
But I digress.
My mission was to talk with Vinnie Paul about HELLYEAH!''s new record, Stampede. About an hour into the evening, I was summoned to the VIP Lounge for my audience with Vinnie.
Meanwhile, as the dancers did their thing, the video screens were filled with various live performances from HELLYEAH!
Turns out, Vinnie was a super nice guy, and even signed some slob's (bad) photographs of him to boot. After my 10 minutes were up, I was, ahem, escorted away and promptly finished the beer I brought with me. The Clubhouse is, after all, a BYOB establishment. Hence the all nude procession and lack of bar service.
But the night was not over. Indeed, it was announced at about 11 o'clock that things were just kicking off. Then came the parade of painted flesh as literally hundreds of strippers encircled the entire place and HELLYEAH!'s music played deafeningly out of the speakers. CDs were handed out, and Vinnie walked the room as the club became crowded to the point of asphyxiation.
I left. I think I left a beer behind, too. I got the hell out of West Dallas and back to the much safer confines of Lake Highlands.
I believe that a bit of my soul was snatched away by some chick with a very large crucifix tattooed on her back.
It was a scene man. It was a scene.