You know the drill: A pitcher walks three batters in a row, and the coach comes steaming out of the dugout. Whoever's in the stadium's audio control box gets their cue, lunges for button, clicks it, and the entire stadium fills with "Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye."
The audience isn't that bored, dude. We really don't need every moment--every damn second--filled to the capacity with Billboard hits or Awesome Classic Rock Compilation #4. Also: Can we acknowledge that, while Queen is awesome, they're way overused during stadium play?
In the name of the wide, wide world of sports, we'd like to submit 16 songs that should never be played at sporting events or stadiums in the future. Please?
Feel free to suggest more in comments, or remind us to once again "shove it." Make the jump for the full list...
1. "Another One Bites the Dust" - Queen
Sure, this song really sticks it to a failing pitcher, but the song is much more enjoyable in a location where you can dance.
2. "Cowboy" - Kid Rock
Kid Rock is a bad idea for any venue. Ever.
3. "Let's Get It Started" The Black Eyed Peas
This song will not induce a rally. Actually, it makes us head for the concessions, where we "get started" on a helmet sundae.
Zombie NationKernkraft" - Zombie Nation
Does this really thrill a crowd anymore?
5. "Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" - Steam
There must be a newer, better, less-sticks-around-in-head-for-days song to replace this one. There must be.
6. "Rock and Roll (Part Two)" - Gary Glitter
We'd happily replace this endless clips of "Born to Run."
7. "Sweet Escape" - Gwen Stefani
8. "Crazy Train" (intro only) - Ozzy Osbourne
First, Sabbath is awesome. Second, this song is better in its entirety--not simply for the first few seconds in between third and fourth down.
9. "Right Now" - Van Halen
Right now--hey!--we could use some aspirin. Come on, do you have any?
10. "Cotton Eyed Joe" - Rednex
Please. No. More.
11. "Shout" - The Isley Brothers
Again, the truncated version of this song is no fun.
12. "You Shook Me All Night Long" - AC/DC
We love AC/DC. Who doesn't? Just not as your walking out of the stadium, sticky and tired from beer.
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13. "You Dropped a Bomb on Me" - The Gap Band
Hey, you already shook me all night long.
14. "Song 2" - Blur
The "whoo-hoo" portion of this song is like uranium: a small dose can kill you.
15. "Welcome to the Jungle" - Guns 'n' Roses
Ok, maybe limit to this to once a year.
16. "What I Like About You" - The Romantics
You'd be hard pressed to go a few minutes in a stadium without hearing this filler.