The Problem With... Taio Cruz's "Higher"

Have you ever met any music fans who tell you they only listen to British music? The ones who think British music is superior to North American music? Yeah, they must be pretentious bastards viewing the greener grass on the other side.

Yet, in listening to both versions of Taio Cruz's latest dancefloor single "Higher," I think they might be on to something. You see, the single was released in two versions for different markets. The UK version included guest vocals from the kangaroo with a full "pouch," Kylie Minogue (see it above). But, here, across the pond, we got guest vocalist Travie McCoy (posted after the jump).

For shame, America. This is a guy who's not beneath throwing out the title of a cheesy '80s dance film -- equipped with its own rhyme, at that -- to get an effortless line in. Impress me thinking up a rhyme for


, Travie.

Let's compare McCoy's take to a woman who beat Madonna in her own genre-appropriating-comeback game, beat cancer and has broad appeal among all sexual orientations.

No joke, the queens at drag shows grudge over who gets to be Kylie. I can't even imagine any self-respecting dude who wants to look like Travie.

Now, both videos have a few hangups. I think if a star acquires a fancy car for a video, they should be in the driver's seat. All stars in both videos appear in the back seats of these cars. That's the place I throw the gloves, caps and food wrappers. The backseats of these posh cars must have a linger of spoiled caviar and fox hair.

And what's with the band here? Isn't this an electronic track?

Anyway, Kylie wins. Score one for Great Britain. Right, then. I'm off for a cup of tea.

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