Unsilent Night - Fair Park - 12/1/12

Unsilent Night Fair Park's Centennial Hall Saturday, December 1

Against my better judgment, I decided to review this year's Unsilent Night Festival at Fair Park. It's not that I had anything against the bands. I'd spent the previous night watching Machine Head ignite the crowd at the House of Blues, and even banged my head with cartoon metal band Dethklok just to take my mind off my graduate studies. So imagine my surprise when I walked into Fair Park on Saturday and traveled back in time, to the days of my youth when I avoided my parents and screamed alongside my fellow metal heads to a little-known band called Pantera.

See also: - The crowd surfing of Unsilent Night

And while this festival did offer some promising bands - Every Time I Die and The Veil of Maya - the metal/crunk versions of Justin Bieber and Jonas Brothers, aka Brokencyde and Blood on the Dance Floor, siphoned my will to continue this review. So without further ado, here's a crazed fan to give you a run-down of the day's events.

Brokencyde They put on a great show. One of the screamers even jumped down off the stage and touched his fans' hands. Then he drank some water and spit it at the crowd. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Blood on the Dance Floor The crowd went wild! Like really, really crazy. Girls and guys were screaming and piling on top of each other, chanting the band's name. Jayy Von Monroe, the screamer, wore this crazy, amazing outfit with feathers around his neck. Then Dahvie Vanity started singing "Sexting," and the crowd got crazier. Once the song was over, Dahvie said, "So I heard this was a family event tonight, and I heard it was a full moon." And then he pulled down his pants and showed his white ass. A very nice full moon.

As they played "Bewitched," "Hell on Heels" and "Ima Monster," Dahvie opened fake bottles of blood and sprayed the crowd, while Jayy jumped off the stage and let people touch his arms. Amazing. Simply amazing. At one point during the show, some guys were flipping them off, so Dahvie dropped his pants again. "Why don't you guys get on stage and kiss my big white ass!" But it wasn't very big.

Before they got off the stage, I ran and hugged Dahvie, twice, took his picture and shot a short video with him, but he wouldn't show his full moon.

The 47 other bands They were okay.

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Christian McPhate is an award-winning journalist who specializes in investigative reporting. He covers crime, the environment, business, government and social justice. His work has appeared in several publications, including the Dallas Morning News, the Fort Worth Star Telegram, the Miami Herald, San Antonio Express News and The Washington Times.