We apologize to The Powerful Brain of Sting!

When we ran an item taking Sting to task for his ware-peddling at his recent Starplex show, we were unaware that the deeply thoughtful Brit was battling a terrible condition: Rodin’s syndrome, or manual-cephalic adhesion–the recurrent sticking of the hand to the head. As these pictures illustrate, the brave bass thumper has been suffering from this malady throughout his career. It must be terribly expensive to treat, and we regret implying that we were disappointed that someone who lives in a damn castle couldn’t keep himself from hawking TV services and pictures of himself at an ostensible rock concert.