| Crime |

A Bald, Tattooed Man Assaulted a Victoria's Secret Security Guard During a Brazen Panty Heist Yesterday

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If the security guard wasn't suspicious when a bald, heavily tattooed Hispanic man walked into the Victoria's Secret at Mockingbird Station early yesterday afternoon -- those post-Christmas sales are admittedly hard to pass up -- she soon became so as she watched him walk to a display and grab, oh, five dozen pairs of panties, give or take. There's no legitimate reason why anyone would need so many undergarments -- or at least none that don't conjure incredibly disturbing mental images.

Not surprisingly, the man bypassed the cash registers and headed straight for the exit, where he was met by the security guard. She tried to block his path to keep him from leaving, but, according to Dallas police, he grabbed her by the arm and shoved her into the door frame before escaping into the parking lot and speeding off in a dark blue Dodge Ram onto the Central Expressway service road.

The security guard told police the thief was about 5'11" and 210 pounds. He was wearing a blue-and-white varsity jacket and jeans and his shaved head was covered in tattoos. She also got a look at the Ram's license plate, BS1-0460. So if you see anyone matching that description, particularly if he is wearing a large amount of women's underwear, tell him Victoria's Secret wants its lingerie back.

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