Even if European soccer owner Tom Hicks convinced Major League Baseball to inject the same screwy tables that govern soccer into America's pasttime your Texas Rangers wouldn't be a playoff team.

But, alas, they wouldn't be relegated, either.

If baseball were run according to European soccer standards--top teams earning international play (or advancement, in the case of minor league squads), the worst facing relegation to the league below--the woeful Pirates, Orioles and Nats would be playing AAA schedules next season.

Advancing? Sacramento, Louisville and Durham--probably an improvement. 

We looked at these unique "standings" a couple months back. Time to see how we wound up.

In this fantasy scenario, the top five major league squads enter into a kind of Champions League, a true World Series with winners from Japan, Canada, Korea, etc. And, as happens occasionally in Europe, a class A team could work its way up to major league status. 

Yeah, for you literal-minded folks, this could never happen. Minor League teams are bound to the top clubs. If things were different, though, we'd have races up and down the table. The battle to stay out of the cellar would be just as fascinating as the fight for the league cup. 

The final standings:

Major League

(Blue=Champions League; Red=Relegation to AAA) 

1. NY Yankees 103-59

2. LA Angels  97-65

3. LA Dodgers  95-67

4. Boston  95-67

5. Philadelphia  93-69

6. Colorado  92-70

7. St. Louis  91-71

8. San Francisco 88-74

9. Florida  87-75

10. Texas  87-75

11. Minnesota  87-76

12. Atlanta  86-76

13. Detroit  86-76

14. Seattle  85-77

15. Tampa Bay 84-78

16. Chicago Cubs 83-78

17. Milwaukee  80-82

18. Chicago Sox 79-83

19. Cincinnati  78-84

20. Oakland  75-87

21. San Diego  75-87

22. Houston  74-88

23. Arizona  70-92

24. NY Mets  70-92

25. Kansas City 65-97

26. Cleveland  65-97

27. Baltimore  64-98

28. Pittsburgh  62-99

29. Washington 59-103 

AAA

(Blue=Advance to ML; Red=Relegation to AA) 

1. Sacramento  86-57

2. Louisville  84-58

3. Durham  83-61

4. Scranton  81-60

5. Gwinnett  81-63

.....

25. New Orleans 63-80

26. Round Rock 63-81

27. Pawtucket  61-82

28. Portland  60-84

29. Columbus  57-85

30. Buffalo  56-87 

AA

(Blue=Advancement to AAA; Red=Relegation to A) 

1. Birmingham 92-47

2. Akron  89-53

3. Connecticut  83-59

4. Jacksonville  82-58

5. Midland  78-62

....

24. New Hampshire 64-78

25. Huntsville  63-75

26. Altoona  62-80

27. West Tenn. 62-78

28. Arkansas  61-79

29. Corpus Christi 61-79

30. Binghamton 54-86 

A

(Blue=Advancement to AA; Red=Relegation to non-league status) 

1. Fort Wayne  94-46

2. San Jose  93-47

3. Wilmington  84-55

4. High Desert  83-57

5. West Michigan 81-59

6. Great Lakes  81-59

7. Peoria  81-57

....

52. Dayton  59-80

53. South Bend 59-78

54. Wisconsin  58-81

55. Beloit  57-83

56. Lancaster  56-84

57. Lakeland  55-75

58. Lansing  54-84

59. Sarasota  54-83

60. Myrtle Beach 53-84 

In the non league division there are 40 teams competing.

• Texas Rangers