The man who walked into the Knox Street Apple Store with his family on Sunday afternoon was operating on a pair of assumptions. One was that no one would suspect the guy holding the small child of stealing a rechargeable iPhone battery. The other was that, if someone did, they would be so put off by the thought of it swimming around in the crotch of his pants that he would be allowed to waddle from the store unimpeded.
He was mistaken on both counts. According to police, the Apple Store's loss prevention officer was watching the guy via surveillance video as he cradled the child with one hand and slipped a Mophie Juice Pack down the front of his pants with the other.
The man must have realized the jig was up when he saw the loss prevention guy coming toward him, so he hastily dreamed up Plan B, which involved handing the child to the woman he was with, shoving them both into the loss prevention officer, then leaving them to fend for themselves while he hauled ass out of the store.
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The thief at least had the decency to leave the woman the black Honda Accord they had arrived in, opting instead to run down Knox Street toward Central Expressway. She and the child made it out of the store and drove away, but not before the loss prevention manager snapped a picture of their license plate with his cell phone, and not before she realized that chivalry is very, very dead.