Sports

An Ode to Jesse Holley

In a word: Seeyalater. I get lots of emails and/or phone calls urging me to root for reality-show winner Jesse Holley to make the Dallas Cowboys' roster. In the name of Rudy, Rocky and Vince Paple, don't I believe in feel-good, underdog miracles?! In the movies, absolutely. In the NFL, um,...
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In a word: Seeyalater.

I get lots of emails and/or phone calls urging me to root for reality-show winner Jesse Holley to make the Dallas Cowboys’ roster. In the name of Rudy, Rocky and Vince Paple, don’t I believe in feel-good, underdog miracles?!

In the movies, absolutely. In the NFL, um, notsamuch.

My suggestion to you skewed-reality dreamers is to TiVo tomorrow night’s Cowboys-Vikings’ pre-season finale. With the starters safely in bubble-wrap, it’ll be the Rudy Carpenter-to-Holley show. Enjoy.

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Nothing against Holley-Wood personally. He’s a nice, polite kid with some talent. But those, frankly, are a dime a million in the NFL.

He hasn’t been an embarrassment since winning Michael Irvin’s 4th & Long. Likewise, he hasn’t shown anything – 1 catch (which he bobbled off his facemask) for 9 yards – special to prompt Dallas to consider him for the final 53-man roster. Practice squad? Maybe, but he’s no Kevin Ogletree, that much is clear.

In the end, as most of us suspected, Holley isn’t a professional football player. He only played one on TV.

We now return to your regularly scheduled fantasy, dipped in winning lottery tickets, genies wafting out of bottles and a uniformed Richard Gere swooning in to the factory. 

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