Last week a representative of Poo Prints, a company that performs DNA tests on dog shit in order to track down the irresponsible owner who didn't pick it up, tried to convince the City Council to adopt such a program citywide. It would be a way to reduce the ungodly amount of animal waste washed into our water supply.
The proposal elicited some chuckles, but not from Councilwoman Angela Hunt.
"I think that's a great idea," she said, according to an NBC 5 report. "I think we do need enforcement, especially in some of our denser areas where you have a lot of folks living with dogs. ... If they're not picking up, it creates a problem."
Real estate blogger Candy Evans was alarmed, so much so that she flirted with the idea of fleeing to the country.
She needn't fear. Hunt took the time out of her busy schedule to write Evans a note.
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"Let me clarify my quote that made it sound like I enthusiastically support a taxpayer-funded CSI lab devoted to analyzing canine excrement," she writes.
"Would something like this be a useful tool for enforcement? Absolutely. Is it practical in Dallas? Not at all."
She goes on to list the logistical hurdles such a plan would face: the impossibility of registering the DNA of every dog in Dallas, a lack of code enforcement officers, and ridiculously overinflated revenue projections (the Poo Prints guy told the City Council it could make $40 to $100 million). In short, it would be "a 'waste' of time. Heh," Hunt writes."
And so, with a terrible pun, Hunt puts to rest Evans' fears. Dogs can continue to poop in peace, without fear that a forensics team will come busting through the door.