Aunt Fannie's Butt|Smogville|Douchebaggery

Aunt Fannie's Butt

Jim Schutze's kind and understated article "Slow Train Coming" (December 20) should really have been titled "Decrepit and Totally Dead Middle Ages Oxcart Left on the Side of the Road."

I have lived in Dallas for more than 27 years, and never in my born days have I ever seen a more inept so-called "mass transit" agency than our darling DART. I have used mass transit in New York, Chicago, San Francisco and Atlanta. Heck, when I was a mere slip of a girl, San Francisco had BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) with actual light rail way back in 1975! Lordy, my great grandma could actually ride the subway in New York City, and the MARTA (Metropolitan Area Rapid Transit Authority) light rail could whisk you from the Atlanta airport to my hotel in downtown Atlanta without ever going outside. It cost a whole $2.50. My son, who was just a little tyke, was so awestruck he said, "Gee, Mama, why can't we get something like this back home in Big D?" He's now a 6-foot-1, 245-lb. offensive tackle pushing his senior year in high school.

DART buses leak when it rains and some of the routes take you through the strangest places. It's like they gave a 2-year-old a crayon and said, "Go ahead, honey, draw up the next route for Pleasant Grove!" Since when do you need a city bus (37) driving down a residential side street? I may be a little silly, but if I wanted a friggin' bus to stop on the other side of my white picket fence, I'd have moved on a major street!

And don't EVEN get me started on how those fools keep their DART cars running all day at the Lake June park and ride. And they had the nerve to brag several years ago about how ridership had increased a lot since they were soooo great! My Aunt Fannie's butt! Let's not mention the little fact that the federal government (of which I am an employee, so don't say my name here please) started paying for bus passes for its entire workforce because of a mandate by Congress to reduce air pollution. That's the reason the damn ridership went up—and most of my fellow workers wouldn't get caught dead on a DART bus or train anyway!

In my opinion, DART stands for Dumb Asses Rippin' off The public.

Name Withheld, Dallas


I just wanted to say, great investigative story ("American Toxic," by Todd Spivak, December 6). We need more stories like this in the Dallas Observer so we Dallas folks won't have to read the Weekly from the other side of the tracks.

Joel Hancock, Dallas


Outstanding piece of work! ("Douchebags in the Mist," by Andrea Grimes, November 29.) After moving to Texas I went through bouts of jealousy and rage seeing what others had, even going as far as questioning my ability to earn toys. I worked hard, paid cash for everything and lived on a scale that most people do but still had the frustration of not living my midlife crisis fantasies before my life had even begun. Now at 30, I'm finishing up the last bit of paying off any debt I've accrued, getting ready to build a modest house on some land that I have bought and paid for and will sell my current house for hopefully enough money to buy furniture for my new place. Not the flair of the $30,000 millionaires, but I've learned that chicks dig stability!

Perhaps I didn't get to screw enough when I was younger, but at least I won't keep getting screwed as I get older.

Keep up the great work and good luck on future findings.

Sean Williams, McKinney

I love this article. In fact, my friend and I thought we had penned the term douchebaggery on our own. To our pleasant surprise, we realized that is a word of much use in this area. Now I think you should write an article on the jungles where elusive and aggressive man-eating cougars exist and attack their prey. I know with your hilarious and insightful research, I will be looking forward to reading that article as well. I know you have heard of the phenomenon of the cougar: the over-38ish woman who has been married or who is married and thrives on the attentions of single or taken younger men, who Demi-Ashton their way into having a boy toy on the side...greatness. It's amazing to watch an attack in person! A must-see!

Lisa Stock, Plano

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