You know those pigs that were raised by dogs so when they grew up they thought they were, well, dogs?
Pacman Jones is a pig.
I've been promised visual photographic evidence by my Sportatorium spies at some point, but for now we'll go with eyewitness acounts from those who attended Dallas Cowboys' safety Ken Hamlin's birthday party last night at American Airlines Center.
Among the 300 or so people at the event, which took place in the AAC's Platinum Club, were Hamlin, safety Keith Davis, Dallas Mavericks' forward Brandon Bass and rapper Lil Wayne, who serenaded the birthday boy with a couple diddies.
Oh yeah, and Pacman. Pacman Jones was there.
Friends are friends, I guess, but I dunno, if I'm Hamlin and I'd missed not one but two tackles that cost my team the Ravens game and a possible spot in the playoffs, I'm spending every waking moment with tackling dummies instead of dummies. Acknowledging this week's fine to Martellus Bennett, last month's release of Pacman and owner Jerry Jones' vows this off-season of "woodsheds" and "change" and "tougher discipline", I might be a little more picky with my posse.
I wouldn't invite one of my friends who just lost his job and spent a month in alcohol rehab to a party where the booze was flowing. And I wouldn't welcome with open arms a rapper who has been arrested three times since '07.
But Hamlin? He had the gala orchestrated by teammate Chris Canty and Terrell Owens' latest publicist/manager, Kita Williams. Tons of Grey Goose vodka. Four - I said FOUR - ice sculptures in the shape of "K.H." spread aroud the club.
And, yes, Pacman.
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A source at the party says Jones didn't partake of alcohol the whole night. Asked at one point if he wanted a drink Pacman replied, "No thanks, I'm cool. Got my water."
Good for him. He needs to get his life straight before he worries about crooked punt returns.
But seems risky to attend a party where the alcohol is flowing. And seems very weird that Pacman would still be hanging out with the Cowboys, a team that finally cut ties to him.
Or, maybe, he knows something after all?