Buzz | Ready to Rumble

"Buzz" by Patrick Williams, December 10

Good Book, Bad Readers

Oh, gee, guys, how many times do we have to say it? It's not what's in the Bible, it's how the doofuses interpret it. In fact, the word "rapture" isn't even mentioned!

It's crazy people like your caller who give all the decent, kind-hearted, modest, faithful Christians a bad name. And you don't help us any by making a column out of one nut's obviously insane misinterpretations.

Do us a favor next time, please? Kindly point out that none of that crap is anywhere in the Bible; it's made up by people who don't know how to interpret a symbol or a metaphor. Instead, please point out how many Christians in Dallas feed the homeless, build Habitat houses with poor people, care for people living with AIDS, buy Christmas gifts for low-income families, stand up for the civil rights of our GLBT families and friends, and in general try to spread God's love as Jesus taught his followers to do.

And if you need any proof, I can point you to dozens of churches where these things happen on a regular basis.

Give us Christians a break, please?

Cynthia Astle from Dallas, via dallasobserver.com

I love you guys...when I read your column I don't feel like such a loony liberal. THANKS!

TiffanyZ from Dallas, via dallasobserver.com

That was a very poor and inaccurate description of what the Bible states will take place in the future. I'm glad to see that we have two choices here. We either choose not to believe the Bible, or we are "doofuses" who do believe the Bible. Gotta love the "tolerance" of the liberal left!

Sincerely,

Bible-believing doofus

Paul Ely from Dallas, via dallasobserver.com

"Ready to Rumble," by Jim Schutze, December 10

Fight! Fight! Fight!

More power to you! I will be praying for your victory! As a Townview alum, I have vivid memories of being made late to class many times by [John Wiley Price's] sorry, half-naked ass trotting around and protesting at Townview. He was disgusting. He wore tight-ass biker shorts on purpose so that you would be sure to see him. I recall a day he got a little too close to our car, and my grandfather hit the gas and nudged him out of the way. JWP then proceeded to try to confront not only my grandfather, but me, a student, as well. But his stupid ass didn't realize how big a man my gramps is, and when he got out the car cussin' and screamin', JWP weak-ass went running to find comfort in cops on standby across the street. I was cheering, waving a fist and laughing so loud.

I wish there was something I could do to aid your efforts, but as the wife of a DISD employee, I cannot risk my husband being retaliated against. I will share your article with everyone I know. I thank you for stepping up so ferociously.

Stephanie from Dallas, via dallasobserver.com

You go, old man! Drown him with the ink of truth.

Rod, via dallasobserver.com

This is one of the best comedic pieces you've written in a while, and I wait weekly to read you. But, as usual, it's lopsided. Most of that shit you rehearsed from 20 years ago was trumped up, and you know it. If you don't, I do, because I was nearby much of the time. And while your readers will jump on the bandwagon, you need to understand that JWP gets reelected time after time because most black folks in Dallas are as frustrated with this "system" as he is. When it's all said and done, John ain't just about black folks, he's an advocate for the Rainbow Coalition of Dallasites who know that the folks with money who rob Dallas blind don't care anymore about poor whites than they do poor blacks. Dallas is about money, and after all, that's what he was chiding the court about—$113,000 of unnecessary bullshit that was prompted by [County Judge Jim] Foster's midnight constitution-breaking raid. And as far as the Thrilla on Marilla, I got 10-1 money on the undisputed heavyweight champion of Dallas politics. Sell tickets and donate it to the homeless shelter.

Vincent from Dallas, via dallasobserver.com

John Wiley Price is a thug...and you, sir, have written an amazing piece.

Steven, via dallasobserver.com

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