Clean Up, Aisle Two!

New SMU basketball coach Matt Doherty may be better than Jimmy Tubbs. But so much for the part about him being cleaner. Just four months into his new gig on the Hilltop, Doherty's program has been slapped on the wrist for

an NCAA rules violation

. Seems one of Doherty's assistant coaches wasted time this summer illegally watching some kids playing basketball--and you thought going to Disneyland with the kids was a beating--which is considered a "secondary violation." Translation: Ain't no big thang. But remember, it's SMU's second such rules infraction this year, and we just started August. Back in April, the school fired Tubbs for the equally innocuous transgressions of giving players

free hamburgers and laundry detergent

. No NCAA penalties are expected in either case. Bottom line: This is the residual effect from the NCAA pulling the plug on the football program 19 years ago. SMU, long since terrified of Daddy's belt, has become the planet's most vigilant self-policing school. Oh, yeah, and because it doesn't even try to cheat, like

some school north of here

, SMU's major sports suck. The only time the Mustangs can chant "We're No. 1!" is when it comes to confessing their own sins.

--Richie Whitt

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