In a column sure to make locals' heads collectively 'splode, former Dallas Morning News sports writer Gary Myers, who departed these climes in '89, today has a piece in the Daily News bearing the aw-jeez headline, "The Big Apple vs. The Big D." As in, "Dallas is a pizza and bagels-challenged town, that's for sure, which doesn't make it a bad place to live. In fact, Dallas is a great and easy place to reside. It's just not New York."

Then he spends the next three pages comparing and contrasting Dallas with New York City, in categories ranging from eateries to landmarks to mayors (referencing, in that instance, not Mayor Tom but his old pal and colleague Laura Miller). Receiving shout-outs: Victor Osmani's Italian Cafe in Las Colinas (a former fave of Bill Parcells', turns out), the misspelled Campisi's on Mockingbird, the Blue Goose Cantina on Greenville and "the dried up Trinity River." And J.R. Ewing. Who's no Patrick Ewing, apparently. --Robert Wilonsky

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