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My wife and I watched last night’s Highland Park-set episode of Top Chef: Texas in wide-eyed (and, eventually, slightly drunken) disbelief; it was like some Frankenstein monster created from the worst parts of Most Eligible Dallas, The A List: Dallas, Dallas Divas & Daughters and one of those rare occasions when Tom Colicchio actually shows up at his Craft in the W. TNT could not have chosen a better time to release a new trailer for its next-gen Dallas reboot, which looks like a Merchant Ivory production in comparison. For this we paid $400,000? I demand a refund.