What happens when you combine these two hot topics? A healthy dose of sadness, it seems.
A recent study by Sportsbook Review finds that Cowboys fans make up the fifth-saddest NFL fan base.
Perhaps that’s not surprising, given how the Dak Prescott-led NFL squad has really embarrassed itself in its most recent playoff appearances. Getting shellacked in January at the hands of the underdog Green Bay Packers was certainly more than a tad disheartening.
We will admit, though, that some of Sportsbook Review’s results are also surprising: for example, the Washington Commanders were found to have the happiest fans in the league. But maybe there’s a reason for that? Those fans, who long suffered under the oppressive and problematic ownership of Daniel Snyder, now have new hope with a new owner, a new coach and a new star QB. There’s nothing terribly new to be all that hopeful about in Cowboys-land.
The surprising and intriguing element of the study, however, is not the batch of findings, but how the happiness and sadness levels of each fandom was calculated. By now you have likely guessed that, yes indeed, AI was employed in figuring out just how sad Dallas fans have been.
According to Sportsbook Review, the results came from analyzing “more than 20,000 selfies taken at every NFL stadium and, with the help of AI facial recognition technology, determined which fan bases produced the highest rate of happy faces in those images.”
Now, the Cowboys had a fantastic home record in 2023, but were not so great on the road. And since hordes of Cowboys fans travel to away games, we’re going to guess that there were plenty of sad selfies taken when Dallas lost in Miami, Buffalo, Arizona, Philadelphia and San Francisco.
A couple of those losses, specifically the Oct. 8 42–10 drubbing by the 49ers and the Dec. 17 31–10 embarrassment to the Bills, surely generated thousands of pained Cowboys social media posts on their own.
To be fair, there's reason to think this study isn't exactly airtight. The fans of the back-to-back Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs are ranked as the second-saddest group in the league. So, we have to call bullshit on that, right?
If nothing else, this study gives us fans another reason to dunk on the team for doing absolutely nothing to improve the team during this offseason.
Besides, the Dallas Cowboys, more than any other team in the NFL, really move the needle on a national basis. Cowboy games regularly have the highest-rated television broadcasts each season, and no other team’s overall attendance and value seems to skyrocket on an annual basis, regardless of on-field results, the way that Jerry Jones’ club does. But we know that’s not all derived from hardcore supporters.
After the loss, #Cowboys fans were angry and frustrated but most were just heartbroken it ended like this...yet again.
— William Joy (@WilliamJoy) January 23, 2023
(@wfaa) pic.twitter.com/gB7LfWrLuC
Needle movers such as the Cowboys are often powered by haters as much as lovers. You can be sure that millions of happy selfies were generated during those aforementioned Cowboys losses by the fans of the teams who managed to mangle Dallas last year.
The survey tracked a few other emotional categories as well, and wouldn't you know it, Dallas managed to win something. Cowboys fans were ranked as the most surprised fans as well as the most scared fans in the league, according to the AI facial recognition methodology.
"It sounds so emotionally taxing to be a Cowboys fan," the Sportsbook Review report stated. "They're sad, they're surprised, and apparently they're also scared out of their wits. I have to think some of these selfies were taken during Dallas' humbling Wild Card Round loss to Green Bay, a game in which the Cowboys once trailed by as many as 32 points. That result would scare just about anyone."
But you know we’ll all do the same thing again in 2024. Just like we do every year under head coach Mike McCarthy. The guys will get off to a good start, and our hopes and dreams will bloom in the fall — just as surely as they’ll implode in the winter.
Perhaps we should lessen the pain and generate fewer sad selfies as a result by purchasing a copy of the fictitious-but-needs-to be-real-book Craig Miller’s Guide to Never Again Buying Into the Dallas Cowboys, written by 1310 The TIcket's Craig Miller.
But who are we kidding? We’ll buy that book, but if Dallas starts the next season with a couple of wins, we’ll already be bought back in. And later we’ll be sad. Again.
