Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick does not want to see your genitals, despite the claims made on a sticker noticed by a jet-setting Redditor who made a pit stop in a Dallas Fort Worth International Airport bathroom stall over the weekend.
(Actually, we didn’t send an inquiry to the lieutenant governor’s office, since those people never talk to us, so maybe he does want to see your genitals. Probably not, but we can't say for certain.)
The official looking poster — labeled "Security Notice” and decorated with the DFW Airport logo and crests for the Texas Department of Public Safety and the lieutenant governor’s office — warns bathroom goers of an ongoing Electronic Genital Verification (EGV) pilot program, implemented by Patrick himself. The poster states that individuals may have their nether regions photographed electronically while in the restroom, and that images of genitalia are being captured for “model training purposes.”
“In the future, EGV will help keep Texans safe while protecting your privacy by screening for potentially improper restroom access using machine vision and Artificial Intelligence in lieu of traditional genital inspections,” the announcement reads.
The poster adds that participation in the program is voluntary, and those interested in requesting their privates be removed from the EGV database can call the program’s office. A quick google search shows the number listed is that of Dan Patrick’s office, leaving one to wonder how many calls the lieutenant governor’s assistants has gotten today from those who would like any photos of their genitalia deleted, please.
The prank is likely in response to Patrick’s push for legislative restrictions on transgender bathroom usage. Patrick introduced the “Bathroom Bill” in 2017, and though it fizzled out in the legislative session, he insists he “won” the fight against local policies that ensure individuals in public spaces and schools can use the restroom that correlates with their gender identity.
We did ask DFW about the stickers in hopes of finding out how widespread the EGV program managed to get, but a spokesperson said the airport has not recorded any official complaints about the postings and has no information about their origins. “Obviously” they were not produced by the airport, we were told.
Online, hundreds of Reddit users offered praise for the “beautiful trolling” job, and dozens asked where they could purchase the stickers. Ya know, for research purposes.
“Sure we can get rid of the Electronic Genital Verification program, but think of all the good paying jobs it is bringing to Texas!” one Redditor joked.
“Be a shame if [Dan Patrick’s] office got flooded with calls from people demanding he deletes his dick pic files,” another commented. “A real shame.”
That would be a shame, wouldn't it? Even worse would be if countless loyal Texans decided to not wait to go to the airport and lend Patrick a hand by voluntarily sending in hard copies of genitalia pictures to the Office of the Lieutenant Governor, P.O. Box 12068, Austin, Texas 78711. That would be wrong.
