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Conroe native Matt Lepsis, pictured at right, retired from pro football on New Year’s Day 2008 after 11 seasons with the Denver Broncos. Noted The Denver Post of the 34-year-old’s decision to hang it up: “He felt his play was slipping.” Now we know why: The offensive lineman was playing while high — shades of the late, great Doc Ellis. (Though, notes one nonbelieving Deadspinner, “Doc Ellis is not impressed.”) At least Lepsis has something to talk about with his classmates at the Dallas Theological Seminary, where he’s currently studying The Good Playbook. –Robert Wilonsky
