Pro tip: When planning a bank heist, it's best to eliminate or conceal any distinguishing features that might help cops identify you later. Exhibit A is this Fort Worth bank robber's grotesque salt-and-pepper facial hair.
Yes, the powder blue sweats are suitably nondescript, and the beanie-over-the-eyes trick is a nice touch, but that beard is seared onto the retinas of the tellers at the Wells Fargo in the 1600 block of South University Drive as well as anyone he's encountered for as long as that scruff has adorned his chin.
We get that this man was probably lacking in funds -- why rob a bank otherwise? -- but a perfectly serviceable Bic razor retails for, like, a quarter. Too much? The cops in Dallas won't even show up if you shoplift one.
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The beard wasn't quite egregious enough to foil the robbery attempt; the man made off with an undisclosed amount of cash on what police described as a silver, cruiser-style bicycle. One suspects, however, that his days as a free man are numbered.
Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.