In Bill We Trust?

So, where was he? Bill Parcells, so we're told, is the only guy on the planet capable of handling Terrell Owens. The infallible Tuna is the main reason the Cowboys think their T.O. experiment will work when 31 other teams are convinced it won't.

But on Saturday, at Owens' introductory press conference as a Dallas Cowboy, Parcells was eerily absent. He's always a no-show, mind you, for Cowboys' free-agent signings. But this free agent is different, and the head coach needed to be there. Via conference call, cardboard-cutout likeness, something. Without him, unveiling T.O. was kind of like presenting King Kong to the masses, sans shackles.

Owner Jerry Jones is guaranteeing that Parcells is on board with T.O. But the signing would be a lot easier to swallow with assurances from Bill. So far the coach has had zero face-to-face meetings with Owens, yet several with old friends he's visiting at baseball spring training in Florida. Imagine the shit we'd give Barry Switzer for a similar stunt. --Richie Whitt

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