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Jason Witten Needs Your Help

James D. Smith/Icon SMI
Jason Witten doesn't look like a guy easily hazed. Wrong.

At first, the news seems kinda ho-ho-ho-hum: The NFL's running an online contest, the winner of which will have their ad run during halftime of the Super Bowl XLII broadcast on February 3. Only, see, the contest involves NFL players telling off-the-field tales, some of which are kinda personal. And among those participating in the contest is Jason Witten of Your Dallas Cowboys, whose tale of rookie-year hazing ends with the phrase, "Don't ever forget the doughnuts." The final round of voting begins tomorrow. Bring your doughnuts.

These two Cowboys vids are not in contention, from the looks of the very confusing Web site. Among them is one from Roy Williams, in which he says he couldn't read till his "senior year" -- high school, sounds like? He used to get picked on and laughed at, he says, which is "why I became the class clown." And the star of my third-favorite Marx Brothers movie: Horse Collars.--Robert Wilonsky

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