- Local
- Community
- Journalism
Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.
The police report for Sunday afternoon's robbery of the Zone d' Erotica on Forest Lane doesn't say much. Someone walked into the adult novelty retailer with a knife, demanded cash, and left.
The robber got the money, about $250, but he (or she -- the report doesn't specify) also made off with a single piece of merchandise: a $150 penis pump.
Police don't list what brand of penis pump, and a manager at Zone d' Erotica declined to comment, so one is left to speculate. Perhaps it was the Fire Pump ("A sexual firefighter knows how to extend his hose!") Or maybe the Rookie (complete with "removable multi-speed vibrating bullet")? If this individual were truly concerned about girth, however, they would undoubtedly go with Dr. Joel (a "heavy-duty high pressure metal vacuum pump with EZ grip padded handles, professional vacuum gauge, flanged clear cylinder, non-crimping flexible hose, universal interlocking male and female connectors, quick disconnect valve, and a hygienically superior Silicone vacuum seal.)
Whichever it was the thief should enjoy it while he can, since pretty soon he could be doing hard time. Yes, we went there.
Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.
