Broderic Allen, aka Ballen, aka B.A., is an aspiring Dallas rapper and member of local hip-hop collective The Chaos Theory. But it's not his music that's landed him on TV, and on AOL News, and in the U.K.'s Daily Mail. All that stems from his drinking habits or, more accurately, his getting-drunk habits: Allen smokes his liquor.
It's simple, really, as Allen demonstrated for San Diego's Fox affiliate. He simply puts dry ice and liquor in a cup, then inhales the vapor. From the lungs the alcohol goes straight to the bloodstream, thus bypassing the stomach and avoiding the calories that typically come from getting drunk.
The calories were a problem for Allen. He topped out at 285 pounds on a diet rich in Steel Reserve, Four Loko and Taco Bell. "I was looking at myself in the mirror, turned my head to the side and leaned forward and my breasts sat on my stomach," Broderic explained to CW 33 in March.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Smoking booze was like a magic bullet, temperance having failed to appeal to Allen. (See also: booty)
There's really only one small drawback to Allen's plan: Inhaling booze is really, really bad for you. It damages the lungs, and with no digestive system mediating the transfer of alcohol to the bloodstream, it's much easier to get alcohol poisoning. Also, as an expert cited by the Daily Mail notes, when people decide to smoke alcohol, it "draws into question their judgment and impulse control."
None of which phases Allen in the least. "I figure, you know, I can have my cake and eat it, too."