Machetes, Strip Clubs and Bomb Threats: How Dallas Celebrated Labor Day

Safe to say that most of us at Unfair Park celebrated Labor Day in the traditional way: by guzzling beer poolside while drunkenly scorching animal flesh. Many in Dallas chose to mark the occasion by more unconventional means, at least judging by the weekend's police reports. Here is a sampling of their celebratory techniques:

Vandalizing Strip Clubs: Around 3 a.m., a pair of security officers escorted a man to his Dodge tow truck after a fight at XTC Caberet. Forty minutes later, they noticed that the truck had returned, this time parked on the side of the freeway with no lights on. They driver fired 10 gunshots in their general direction, at least four of which pierced the strip club's roof and awning. No one was injured.

See also: Your Stool-Stealing, Machete-Wielding St. Paddy's Day Weekend Crime Roundup

Roughly 48 hours earlier, a man was kicked out of Beamers, but he didn't immediately leave the property. Instead, as a security camera trained on rear of the building showed, he broke a flower pot and began hurling the broken shards at the back door, causing an estimated $400 in damage. He was arrested for public intoxication.

Fireworks: Neighbors thought they heard gun shots coming from the Arbor Springs Trailer Park just before 8:30 p.m. on Monday. When officers arrived, they spotted a man lighting fireworks. At first, he denied that they were his, but when confronted with the evidence -- a "Fireworks For Sale" sign, the large quantity of fireworks clearly visible in his car, the fireworks the cops had just watched him light -- he admitted they were his. He told officers he "just wanted to celebrate the holiday for the kids."

Threatening to Blow Up Whataburger: An employee working overnight at a Whataburger on Cockrell Hill Road answered the phone at around 2 a.m. Monday morning. The man on the other end, who spoke in a Middle Eastern accent, asked where he could get a bomb. Asked why, he replied, "Cause I am going to blow you up like 9-11." The employee called police.

Vandalizing a Church: A few minutes before 11 a.m. on Sunday, in the middle of the weekly service, a man showed up at Greater Deliverance Apostolic Church on East Waco Avenue and began hammering on the sign out front with a baseball bat. The man left when he saw a church employee calling 911. They told responding officers the man does the same thing every week.

Wielding a Screwdriver: Jimmie Ortiz, 53, was enjoying a late lunch at Burger King in the 100 block of Jefferson Boulevard when he was approached by Eddie Dominguez-Sanchez. Dominguez-Sanchez, who was at the restaurant panhandling, walked up to Ortiz's table and tried to steal his tray. Ortiz stopped him, and the two men began to argue. Ortiz tried to usher the 63-year-old panhandler outside but, as he was doing so, Dominguez-Sanchez pulled out a rusty Phillip's head screwdriver and attempted to stab him. The blow was deflected by the glass door, and Dominguez-Sanchez left the restaurant. Police caught up with him as he walked down Jefferson Boulevard and placed him under arrest. They found the screwdriver in his back pocket.

Wielding a Machete: On Sunday evening, the Gallardo family was gathered at a trailer park on South Belt Line Road for a laid-back family get together. Things grew tense when Hector Gallardo, 31, and his cousin's boyfriend began arguing about Gallardo's roosters. The police report doesn't say what about the roosters was in dispute, just that the boyfriend, identified by police as Sabino Diaz-Sandoval, disappeared to his apartment across the street. When he returned a while later, he had a machete. He calmly walked up to an unsuspecting Gallardo, raised the machete, and started to bring it down. He was restrained by other family members and, after a struggle, dropped the machete and walked back home, where he was arrested.

Smuggling Joints Through Love Field: On Monday afternoon, a Tennessee man was going through security at Love Field when the TSA agent manning the X-ray scanner spotted something suspicious in his bag. They pulled it aside and began to rummage through, pulling out a pocket knife and a clear plastic baggie containing three joints. The man was taken to a holding cell, where he was interviewed by Dallas police. It's not clear if he made his flight.

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