Mark Cuban’s Plan to Make You Some Money

For dang sure, it doesn’t involve listening to this moron’s sports picks.

In between explaining how “close to seven” players expressed their intentions not to play for Dallas if coach Avery Johnson returned this season, promising to be even more hands-on this season and revealing that he’ll this week go to a Cubs’ playoff game to “drink beer and have fun,” Mavericks owner Mark Cuban on Monday also gave us media dorks some financial advice in these troubled times.

With my 401k down to about a 201g, I took notes:

If you have less than $100,000 in your bank, you’re safe. If you have “investment money”, put it in a low-risk Money Market Fund with a guaranteed return.

“Take your two percent and sleep well,” he said. “This is the time to be safe and wait it out.”

Just shows you how surreal Cuban’s life is. While the rest of us are ransacking seat cushions and ash trays for enough coins to pay our light bill, he’s got $1 billion burning a hole in his pocket to spend on a baseball team.

Joked Cuban of the slow-moving sale of the Cubs, “I always thought if I wanted to spend $1 billion I’d be able to.” -- Richie Whitt

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